disagreements about what “really happened” in the past. For Alan, it is essential that his parents adopt his view of past events and give up their own. For even first steps toward a reconciliation, they must accept blame: What we are looking for is my parents to apologize and acknowledge that their concerns about Inez were false, and that these were their own issues that they needed to work through. In the past, I approached my parents about this, and they took the stance of, “No, the problem was just her, and we’re not going to apologize for anything.” My family was very much in denial,
