Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them

by Karl Pillemer

Chevy Chase’s character Clark Griswold in the iconic Christmas movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. In the film, there is this bit of dialogue with his long-suffering wife, Ellen: Ellen: You set standards that no family activity can live up to. Clark: When have I ever done that? Ellen: Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations . . . Clark and I are not alone; family life is built on expectations for one another’s behavior. At its best, this shared understanding of how we expect our relatives to act keeps family life running smoothly. When we interact with our families, we play a role in relation to the roles of others. That is, in fact, how a social role is defined: a set of expectations for how we are supposed to behave.