key insight of Bowen theory is that people cut off a relative not because they no longer care but because they may care too much. When the emotional intensity of a relationship becomes too high, cutting it off serves as an escape valve. This idea, in particular, resonates throughout my studies of estrangement. Bowen theory asserts that family life embodies a fundamental conflict between togetherness, which is referred to as “fusion,” and individuality, or “differentiation.” When the push toward fusion with family members is too great, anxiety ensues.
