Some of the most damaging rifts I encountered involved the wholesale rejection of family members because of how they decided to lead their lives. In such cases, it is not a matter of straightforward arguments or disagreements. Instead, the person’s very worth as a human being, deserving of respect and autonomy, is called into question. The relative comes to embody the rejection of values another holds sacred, and any sense of tolerance is lost. Resolution is extremely difficult, because the “ask” is not trivial; it is essentially a request to become a different person.
