THE TOOL KIT Most of the reconcilers had to grapple with the issue of unmet expectations, and they have clear advice about how to deal with them. One strategy they propose is abandoning the idea that we can change the other person. They also suggest exploring the possibility that your relative may have changed over time, and thus moved closer to your expectations and values. Finally, they propose a strategy that can guide decisions about reconciliation: asking yourself, What is the least that I can accept?
