This lightbulb went on in my head that all these years I was trying to establish a relationship like I thought it should be. I had this ideal image of an equal, healthy, adult relationship, and I came to the realization that I had to understand her personality and her ideas. It hit me that I wouldn’t try to make her see things my way. I would just stop all of that. I changed my thinking from the idea that I have to fix her to something like this: “It’s okay, you’re not in that role anymore of trying to help her. Just take what you can get.” And I would have never accepted that before.
