The two groups made comments that were mirror images of each other, and shared the same fundamental weakness. On one side, those asking to be let back in declared their willingness to “do anything” the relative wanted. The initiators, on their part, claimed that they had already provided many chances and that the relative failed at them (reinforcing the idea of “I’m done!”). From the viewpoint of the reconcilers, however, neither party has followed the path that makes reconnecting work. Whether you are offering or requesting one more chance, their advice is to make the terms of the
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