Carry On: The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow

by Rainbow Rowell

“I’m just saying,” I say, turning a bit more, “that I don’t know how to be your boyfriend. And I don’t think you’d want that from me.” “Fine,” he says. “Understood.” “And I know that you think we’re doomed—Romeo-and-Juliet style.” “Completely,” he says to his knees. “And I don’t think I’m gay,” I say. “I mean, maybe I am, at least partly, the part that seems to be demanding the most attention right now. . . .” “No one cares whether you’re gay,” Baz says coldly. I’m sitting sideways now, facing his profile. His eyes are narrow, and his mouth is a straight line. “What I’m saying is . . .” My voice fades out. I suck at this. “I like to look at you.” His eyes shoot over to me, and he lowers his eyebrows but doesn’t turn his head. “I like this,” I go on. “All of this that we’ve been doing.” He ignores me. “I like you,” I say. “And I don’t even care that you don’t like me—I’m used to it, I wouldn’t know what to do if you did. But I like you, Baz. I like this. I like helping you. I like knowing that you’re okay. When you didn’t come back to school this autumn, when you were missing . . . I thought I was going to lose my mind.” “You thought I was plotting against you,” he says. “Yeah,” I say. “And I missed you.” He shakes his head. “There’s something wrong with you—”