Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting

by Lisa Genova

you’re depressed, you’re less likely to consolidate happy events or pleasant experiences into memory because happiness doesn’t jibe with your mood. You don’t even notice the sunnier moments when you’re only focusing on the dark clouds.

You find what you look for. If you look for magic every day, if you pay attention to the moments of joy and awe, you can then capture these moments and consolidate them into memory. Over time, your life’s narrative will be populated with memories that make you smile.

And if, despite all this, you are someday diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, there are three lessons I’ve learned from my grandmother and Greg and the dozens of other people I’ve come to know living with this disease: Diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re dying tomorrow. Keep living. You won’t lose your emotional memory. You’ll still be capable of understanding love and joy. You might not remember what I said five minutes ago or even who I am, but you’ll remember how I made you feel. You are more than what you can remember.

By not engaging in blame or a battle with your memory when it forgets, as it inevitably will, you’ll feel calmer and less stressed. And less chronic stress is good for your memory and, like gratitude, your overall well-being.