Just a Bit Obsessed (Straight Guys, #2)

by Alessandra Hazard

“You just never wanted someone enough to be truly jealous. You never cared enough. You never needed enough. That’s why you think it’s not normal to feel that way.” He laughed, something pained flashing across his features before he concealed it behind a neutral expression. “It’s pretty normal, trust me. And it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not love. If you think it’s not love, maybe you never loved before.”

I’m just saying sometimes love isn’t pretty. It’s not neat, and it’s not textbook perfect. There’s no template for love. Sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy. And sometimes it hurts.”

note

“For the same reason your mother can’t leave your father. He’s my everything.”

“You can’t just stay and watch him with someone else. It’ll break you.”

someday, I’ll be the best man at his wedding and maybe a godfather to his kids, and—” Jared cut himself off as his voice thickened. He turned away. “Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I’m an idiot to stick around only because he needs me. Maybe it’s unhealthy to live for crumbs of affection and let one person become the center of my life. Maybe.”

“My advice to you: fuck whatever issues you have. Don’t overthink it. Obsession, love—it doesn’t matter what you call it. They’re just words. If you look at him and think ‘this is mine,’ that’s it. Grab it if you can. I wish I could.”

note.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice toneless. “Me, too.”

Sometimes love isn’t pretty. It’s not neat, and it’s not textbook perfect. There’s no template for love. Sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy. And sometimes it hurts.

“I’m not a very good person, but he loves me anyway. I’m not giving him up. Ever.”

“I hate hurting him, but I just—I can’t let go, okay? He’s…I owe him my career. I owe him everything I am now.” He turned away to look out the window. “I went from being a poor nobody to a star footballer who makes two hundred thousand pounds a week. I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I shouldn’t need him anymore.” He paused. When he spoke again, his voice was full of resentment. “But I do. And I hate this—this emotional dependency and constant craving his attention and approval. I never depended on anyone emotionally until I met him—I never had anyone to depend on. I hate all these emotions, hate being scared he’ll get sick of me and leave, you know?” Gabriel smiled crookedly, shaking his head. “Of course you don’t get it. No one gets it.”

“Wait, when you say ‘I want him,’ do you mean you want to hold his hand and smooch him to death or do you mean—”

“I mean everything.” Alexander thought of Christian’s face, his plump lips, and that goddamn smile, the curve of his neck, his little dark nipples, his thighs, his strong legs wrapped around him, his tightness, his heat, his dark eyes— Alexander smiled self-deprecatingly, feeling his dick twitch. “And I mean everything. From gazing at him sappily to wanting to rub my come into his skin and make him stink of me inside and out.”

He had the potential to turn into a creepy stalker if Christian rejected him. Jesus. Christian had better not reject him.

“Do you really want Jared?”

“Do you really want him?” he said, his voice harsher than he had intended. He couldn’t help it.

“Are you jealous?” Christian said, a bit hesitantly.

“Maybe.”

“Shit, this is really fucking with my head.”

“Do you want Jared?”

“Anyone told you you’re like a dog with a bone? No, I don’t want Jared. Happy now? And why are you calling me at this hour?”

“Come...

“Come out. I’m here, outside.”

“I was in the neighborhood,” Alexander said.

“And decided to come for a friendly visit, huh?”

“Something lik...

“Creep,” Christian murmured softly...

“I wish I’d refused when Mila suggested a threesome,” Alexander said hoarsely. “I wish I never knew this feeling. It’s not beautiful. It’s ugly. And terrifying.”

“Are you drunk or something?”

“I wish.”

Alexander finally sank his teeth into the flesh and sucked hard, wanting to leave a mark for everyone to see.

“What the fuck did you do to me?” he whispered, licking there.

“Seriously, what did you do to me?” There was a great deal of resentment in his voice; he couldn’t hide it. “I feel—I’m a mess.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, silly,” Christian said, his eyes smiling.

“You have no idea what’s going on in my head. I have some—some really creepy thoughts that creep out even me. You’ll freak out if I tell you.”

“Try me. Don’t worry, I always knew you were a weirdo.”

“Do you take anything seriously?”

“Nope, but you totally...

“Maybe I do.”

“Alec?”

“I want you,” he said. “Say yes.”

“To what? What do you want with me? Sex?”

“Of course I want sex,” he said in a hoarse whisper. He gripped Christian’s hips hard, digging his fingers into his round buttocks. “I want to fuck you. Want to kiss and touch you everywhere. Want to feel you come on my cock.” Christian’s lips were trembling an inch away from his. Alexander could barely stop himself from kissing them. “I’ve never wanted anyone so much, and it creeps me out, but just sex would never be enough for me. I know you don’t do relationships, but I don’t do casual relationships.” He felt his lips twist. “And this… there’s nothing casual about this. So if you say yes, you’ll get the full package deal, whether you want it or not.”

“Is cuddling included in the full package?” he asked, putting a hand on Alexander’s chest. “I’m very partial to cuddling.”

Alexander felt his heart beat faster. At that moment, looking at Christian’s smile, he thought he would agree to anything. “Special offer, only for you.”

“Full package, ...

“Are you sure? You’ll never get rid of me.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered the kiss that started it all two months ago. Full circle. The same place, the same person, but the want he felt had changed into something more personal, something more intense. Something scarier.

If you look at him and think ‘this is mine,’ that’s it. Grab it if you can. So he did.