Just a Bit Obsessed (Straight Guys, #2)

by Alessandra Hazard

relationships were based on compromise.

The guy was nothing special. And then Christian smiled at Mila, revealing a pair of dimples. Some people had a nice smile. Some people had a beautiful smile. And then there were a lucky few who had a smile like that guy did. It transformed Christian from just good-looking to stunning when he smiled.

Closing his eyes, he sucked and nibbled, moving down her cheek, to her chin, to— Alexander sucked on the plump lips and delved deep with his tongue. There was a moan and then— Alexander opened his eyes and found himself kissing Christian. He jerked away. They stared at each other, breathing hard.

Alexander turned his head back to him. “Why should I be scared to look at you?” “I don’t know. You tell me.” “Actually, yes. I’m scared,” Alexander said. “I’m scared of looking at you because I might accidentally strangle you.” Christian’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Okay.” He took Alexander’s hands and put them on his neck. “Come on, then.” Alexander looked into the dark brown eyes. There was challenge in them now. Challenge and something else. Christian ran his tongue over his lip. Christian’s pulse beat rapidly against his palm. And Alexander realized he really wanted it. He wanted to squeeze. He wanted to squeeze his hands around this neck and watch Christian gasp, pant, and beg him to stop.

A good, hard fuck was exactly what he needed to get the guy out of his mind. Alexander Sheldon wasn’t for him.

“You think?” Alexander said. “How are you going to get home?” Christian pressed his nose against his ear. “Don’t wanna go home. Wanna fuck.” “Really,” Alexander said flatly. “I thought you declined Mila’s invitation because you didn’t want sex.” “Don’t want a girl,” Christian’s murmured into his ear. “Want a man. Wanna be held down and fucked.” Alexander swallowed.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? I mean, you’re probably the most popular guy in school, everyone loves you, but you never go out with anyone. You just sleep around. People say you’re afraid of commitment.” “Nope,” Christian muttered, yawning. “It’s actually the opposite. My parents love each other—their love is epic and shit—and I basically grew up knowing nothing else. Settling for anything else seems kinda shallow. So I just fuck. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince and all that. I haven’t met anyone I wanted badly enough to quit sleeping around.”

Christian licked his lips. “Just once,” he whispered. And Alexander lunged forward, crushing his lips with his own. Moaning, Christian grabbed his hair and kissed back, eager and needy, and Alexander kissed him deeper, shoving his tongue inside. The kiss was messy and carnal—tongues, teeth, breathless grunts and whimpers—and he couldn’t kiss him deep enough and hard enough. Nothing made sense—nothing but this: the most basic, physical want, his blood pounding with need in his veins and making his dick thicken and harden.

They stared at each other. The next thing he knew, they were kissing furiously, all tongue and teeth, hands in each other’s hair, and god, it felt so good, and scary, but addictive. Christian moaned into Alexander’s mouth and sucked on his tongue, pulling him closer, tighter, until he was on his back and Alexander was on top of him, his heavy body pinning him down.

Christian opened his eyes and looked into Alexander’s, inches away from his own. Alexander’s pupils were completely blown, and he was breathing as harshly as him. Their bodies were entwined so tightly there wasn’t a hair’s breadth between them. But Christian still wanted closer. More. Tighter. “Fuck me,” he whispered, looking Alexander in the eye. Alexander’s nostrils flared. “I’ve never fucked a guy.” Good, Christian nearly said. “Do you want to?”

Slowly, one finger slid into him. It burned, just a little, and Christian clenched down around it, trying to intensify the burn. It felt good, and he wanted more. “Come on, I’m not made of china. I can take it.”

“Pretty good is pretty good, isn’t it?” he said instead and blew him a kiss. Alexander stared at him for a moment before suddenly gripping his throat, leaning in and fitting their mouths together. Christian turned to him fully and closed his eyes, enjoying the delicious little shivers of pleasure coursing through him as they kissed slowly. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed the simple act of kissing this much.

It worried him that he was a total slut for the guy. Hell, he was practically gagging for him. It wouldn’t do. It was downright stupid.

“You’re so childish,” Alexander said, his lips curling into a reluctant smile. “Such a baby.” To prove his maturity, Christian grinned and stuck his tongue out at him. Alexander shook his head before kissing him again. Christian sighed and kissed back, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

He almost reached the door when Alexander said, “Don’t go.” Christian stopped. “What?” “You can’t go outside.” “Why not?” Alexander untangled himself from Mila and walked to him. “Your hair is wet,” he said, running his hand through Christian’s hair. His fingers brushed Christian’s ear. “It’s freezing outside.”

“Right,” Christian said, turning to the door. “See you.” Alexander’s hand grabbed his arm. Christian inhaled shakily, his heart thudding in his throat. “What?” he said, without turning around. Alexander’s warm breath brushed against his ear. “Merry Christmas.” Christian exhaled and whispered, “Merry Christmas.” The hand on his arm lingered for a moment before it was gone. Christian open the door and left. As he always did.

“Are you in love with him?” Christian licked his lips. “I—I don’t know.” He smiled humorlessly. “If this is love, it fucking sucks. I always thought love was supposed to make people happy. I’ve never felt so shitty. It’s not even just sex. I hate it when I see them together, when I watch them be all couple-y and cute. She can touch him whenever she wants. She holds his hand. She spends nights with him—she lives with him.” He met Shawn’s eyes. “I’m starting to hate her, you know. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s a fun, nice girl. I used to like her. And now I kinda want to claw her eyes out, stomp my foot like a kid and shout ‘Mine!’ every time she touches him. And I’m sure she already knows I want more of him. She wants me gone. I know that.” Chris snorted. “And I can’t say I blame her.” He sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. “It’s driving me nuts. And it’s… it’s fucking stupid. I barely know him. I don’t understand him. But it’s like… I can’t separate sex from emotion, you know? I always could before, but with him, I just can’t. I want to please him. Want him to like me. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Shawn had a strange look on his face. “Okay, my experience with men is very limited, so I might be totally wrong, but he looked at you like he…” “Like what?” Shawn appeared a bit uncomfortable. “Like he wanted to lick you from head to toe.”

“Don’t go,” Christian said, squeezing his fingers. “We can be—we can be friends.” Inwardly, he was cringing, because this was a fucking terrible idea. Being friends with Alexander would be hell. But there was a part of him that was ready to be whatever Alec wanted them to be—the stupid, smitten part.

Christian took a shaky breath. God, he wanted him. He wanted to put his head on Alexander’s shoulder. He wanted to wrap his arm around his waist. He wanted to straddle his body and ride him. And all of it was going at a thousand miles an hour through his head, making him dizzy with need. Friends? At this rate, he would go mad by the end of the week.

Well, everything except for the fact that their “friendship” was weird as hell. He touched Christian all the freaking time. A touch on the neck or on the shoulder, an arm around his waist, a nose nuzzling the side of his face. Not to mention the staring. It drove Christian crazy. The worst part was, Christian was pretty sure Alexander didn’t even notice how weird he was behaving.

“Alexander is far from unobservant,” Jared said. “I know,” Christian said, stroking his forehead and running his hand through his hair. “But I think he’s good at ignoring things that he doesn’t want to notice.”

Alexander looked her in the eye. “I kissed him.” She opened her mouth and closed it before opening again. “I don’t care. You didn’t have sex with him. You didn’t cheat.” Alexander hesitated. He didn’t want to hurt her, but she was clutching at straws. “Maybe not physically,” he said, forcing the words out. “But I did it every time I looked at him. Every time I couldn’t look away.” Mila swallowed.

“Maybe. Maybe I never knew you.” She chuckled humorlessly. “Maybe if I knew you better, I could have stopped you from falling for him.” Alexander sucked a breath in. “I didn’t say I love him,” he said tersely, turning away. “What?” “I don’t love him,” he bit out. “It’s not love.” “Then what is it?” Alexander stared out the window, watching the snowfall. He thought of snowflakes melting on Christian’s flushed skin a few hours ago. He thought of how he looked and how he couldn’t look away. “Obsession,” he whispered, barely audible.

“If you want to study me like a lab rat, keep Christian out of it—and keep your tongue out of his mouth, dammit.”

“Maybe you did love your girlfriends. But your reaction to your jealousy over Christian speaks volumes. You think it’s not normal. You don’t want to feel it. You think anything that strong and ugly can’t be love.” Jared eyed his beer, a strange twisted smile on his lips. “You’re wrong. And suppressing emotions isn’t healthy, Alexander.”

I’m just saying sometimes love isn’t pretty. It’s not neat, and it’s not textbook perfect. There’s no template for love. Sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy. And sometimes it hurts.”

“Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I’m an idiot to stick around only because he needs me. Maybe it’s unhealthy to live for crumbs of affection and let one person become the center of my life. Maybe.”

“My advice to you: fuck whatever issues you have. Don’t overthink it. Obsession, love—it doesn’t matter what you call it. They’re just words. If you look at him and think ‘this is mine,’ that’s it. Grab it if you can. I wish I could.”

This thing—this helpless attraction—couldn’t be one-sided. He didn’t know what he would do if it was one-sided. Nothing good.

Christian sometimes jokingly called him a creep. Alexander had a bad feeling that it might not be far from the truth. He felt like a faucet with a broken handle: once open, it couldn’t be closed again. He had the potential to turn into a creepy stalker if Christian rejected him. Jesus. Christian had better not reject him.

Alexander laughed. “Do you take anything seriously?” Christian dimpled at him. “Nope, but you totally love it.” Alexander stared at that smile, trying to control the wave of want that had nothing to do with his dick. “Maybe I do.”

Alexander leaned in again and brushed his lips against Christian’s cheek. “I want you,” he said. “Say yes.” Christian’s body went rigid. He whispered, “To what? What do you want with me? Sex?” Alexander drew a shaky breath in, pressing his forehead against Christian’s. “Of course I want sex,” he said in a hoarse whisper. He gripped Christian’s hips hard, digging his fingers into his round buttocks. “I want to fuck you. Want to kiss and touch you everywhere. Want to feel you come on my cock.” Christian’s lips were trembling an inch away from his. Alexander could barely stop himself from kissing them. “I’ve never wanted anyone so much, and it creeps me out, but just sex would never be enough for me. I know you don’t do relationships, but I don’t do casual relationships.” He felt his lips twist. “And this… there’s nothing casual about this. So if you say yes, you’ll get the full package deal, whether you want it or not.”

And Alexander snapped. He kissed him, pinning him to the door with his body, sucking and biting the plump lips with hunger that shook his entire body. God, finally. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered the kiss that started it all two months ago. Full circle. The same place, the same person, but the want he felt had changed into something more personal, something more intense. Something scarier. Fuck it. Alexander cradled Christian’s face with his hands and kissed him harder, not caring. If you look at him and think ‘this is mine,’ that’s it. Grab it if you can. So he did.