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“He doesn’t look like a creep.” “That’s the point,” Christian said. “He looks like a fucking hero in some goddamn romance novel: handsome and hot, with a great car, a great apartment, and a great, beautiful girlfriend. He obviously has money, too. He’s a perfect, considerate boyfriend—I mean, he practically always comes to pick her up! And he ignores all the girls here that constantly try to get his attention. And I’m pretty sure he agreed to the threesome just to make his girlfriend happy. Because he’s such a perfect boyfriend.”
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Alexander laughed shortly, shaking his head. “Stop doing this. It doesn’t work on me.” “Huh?” “This. Flirting. Messing with my head. Whatever you’re doing.” Christian laughed. “You think I’m flirting with you? Someone has a big head, methinks.”
Christian nodded, mock-serious. “I know: it’s hard to accept you’re not special.”
Alexander unclenched his jaw. “Do you get off on annoying me?” “Get off? Not exactly,” Christian said a laugh. “So I annoy you, huh? I feel pretty damn proud. I bet not many people can say they get any kind of unscripted reaction out of you.”
When Christian was four, the caregiver at his daycare had sent him home with a note that said: “Christian is a very smart, active boy, but he has a problem: he gets too attached to other children’s toys and ends up crying when the owner takes the toy back.” Sixteen years later, as Christian walked home from classes, he thought ruefully that apparently very little had changed since then.
Christian pressed his nose against his ear. “Don’t wanna go home. Wanna fuck.” “Really,” Alexander said flatly. “I thought you declined Mila’s invitation because you didn’t want sex.” “Don’t want a girl,” Christian’s murmured into his ear. “Want a man. Wanna be held down and fucked.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I like women,” Christian said. “You’re nice to touch, nice to talk to, but I can’t really— can’t really see myself falling for a girl. There are things women can’t give me.” “Like what?” Mila said. Don’t want a girl. Want a man. Wanna be held down and fucked.
“Just once,” he whispered. And Alexander lunged forward, crushing his lips with his own. Moaning, Christian grabbed his hair and kissed back, eager and needy, and Alexander kissed him deeper, shoving his tongue inside. The kiss was messy and carnal—tongues, teeth, breathless grunts and whimpers—and he couldn’t kiss him deep enough and hard enough. Nothing made sense—nothing but this: the most basic, physical want, his blood pounding with need in his veins and making his dick thicken and harden.
Apparently, she—and Alexander—wanted a threesome. A real threesome. A threesome where he could touch Alexander and Alexander would touch him. Christian had been so startled he gave his assent without thinking. Not his brightest moment. Dammit, this had “bad idea” written all over it. He should have refused. Because he really liked Mila. And he didn’t trust himself, not after that kiss.
Alexander stared at him for a moment before suddenly gripping his throat, leaning in and fitting their mouths together.
Alexander shifted his gaze to the dick in question. Christian grimaced, feeling his cock start to harden under Alexander’s scrutiny. Seriously, what was it about this guy that turned him into a total nympho? Alexander didn’t even have to try, for fuck’s sake.
He met Shawn’s eyes. “I’m starting to hate her, you know. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s a fun, nice girl. I used to like her. And now I kinda want to claw her eyes out, stomp my foot like a kid and shout ‘Mine!’ every time she touches him. And I’m sure she already knows I want more of him. She wants me gone. I know that.” Chris snorted. “And I can’t say I blame her.”
Shawn had a strange look on his face. “Okay, my experience with men is very limited, so I might be totally wrong, but he looked at you like he…” “Like what?” Shawn appeared a bit uncomfortable. “Like he wanted to lick you from head to toe.”
He doesn’t really talk about it, but my guess is it’s because of his mother. He despises her, maybe even more than his father.” “Because she neglected him?” Jared pressed his lips together. “Because she loves her husband too much. Her emotions basically turned her from a young, confident woman to a clingy, drunken doormat obsessed with an asshole.”
“Alexander is far from unobservant,” Jared said. “I know,” Christian said, stroking his forehead and running his hand through his hair. “But I think he’s good at ignoring things that he doesn’t want to notice.” For an instant, a shadow of sadness crossed Jared’s features. “You’re right,” Jared murmured. “People can be astonishingly good at ignoring things they don’t want to see or know about.”
Christian yelped as he was yanked off the couch by a very angry-looking Alexander. He actually looked pissed: his jaw was working, his eyes were blazing with anger, and rage was coming off him in waves.
Christian wasn’t sure what to think. It was the first time he’d seen Alexander lose his self-control. He’d always had a gut feeling Alexander’s unflappable, unemotional behavior was just a facade, but actually seeing it was a different matter entirely.
The last few weeks had been a disaster. He had told himself he would stay away from Christian, but he ended up seeking him out using some truly ridiculous justifications. He’d told himself he wouldn’t touch Christian now that they were just friends, but he caught himself groping him on multiple occasions—touching, stroking his skin, putting a proprietary arm around him, pulling him close. It was like he couldn’t control his body at all.
He’d never felt so damn out of control before. Never. It wasn’t normal that one smile from the guy could make his mouth go dry, his heartbeat pick up and his cock harden, as though he was a teenager once again. He hated his total lack of self-control around Christian.
I’m just saying sometimes love isn’t pretty. It’s not neat, and it’s not textbook perfect. There’s no template for love. Sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy. And sometimes it hurts.”
So damn true!
“Why don’t you just leave? Quit your job and come back home.” Jared laughed, a short, ragged sound. “I can’t.” “Why not?” “For the same reason your mother can’t leave your father. He’s my everything.”
“My advice to you: fuck whatever issues you have. Don’t overthink it. Obsession, love—it doesn’t matter what you call it. They’re just words. If you look at him and think ‘this is mine,’ that’s it. Grab it if you can. I wish I could.”
Sometimes love isn’t pretty. It’s not neat, and it’s not textbook perfect. There’s no template for love. Sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy. And sometimes it hurts.
“I’ll tell Jared you know.” Gabriel grabbed his arm. “Don’t you dare,” he growled, green eyes flashing. His expression transformed completely, something ruthless and ugly lurking in his gaze. “If you do that, I’ll make sure he’ll never talk to you again, got it? I can do that. If he has to choose, he’ll always pick me, not his cousin. He’s mine.” Alexander stared. Appearances could certainly be deceiving. Cute, innocent kid? Right. “Does he know what a selfish piece of shit you are?”
“Don’t you see how cruel it is? Don’t you care? It’s breaking him.” His jaw tightening, Gabriel dropped his gaze. “I know,” he whispered hoarsely. “I hate hurting him, but I just—I can’t let go, okay? He’s…I owe him my career. I owe him everything I am now.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Men do nothing for me.” He looked at his fingers and said hoarsely, “You know, I’m glad I’m not gay. If I’m this needy and dependent when I don’t want him physically, I don’t even want to think what a clingy wreck I would be if I wanted him that way. I probably wouldn’t let him out of my sight.”
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