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Once she got them talking, her main role was to keep them talking, and to listen. Good negotiators didn’t talk much at all. They mainly listened, prodding their subject to keep on going. Buying time. Gathering information. Looking for the things that would help influence the subject. “The way you wanted?” she repeated his words. It was the number one tool in any negotiator’s arsenal—mirroring. Repeat the subject’s words, demonstrate that you were listening, and make them elaborate more.
A cult didn’t necessarily follow a religion. And often, it wasn’t illegal.
All a cult needed was a very devout following centered on one thing. Sometimes it was a religious belief. Sometimes it was a person. And yes, sometimes it could even be a diet.
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you,
They should insist all prospective negotiators have kids. Nothing prepared you better for crisis management.
Human beings always searched for connections even when there were none.
When convincing anyone to change their point of view, silence was the most important tool. It gave them time to think about what was said, about the implications, hopes, and fears.
plans that started with hot showers and naps were great plans. In fact, you could call them master plans.
The plan was now upside down. It was a nalp.
“You bought him a snake?” she hissed,
Cult members were incredible liars because they believed everything they said. Even when they knew they were lying, they were certain they were doing it for a greater good, so the lie, in a way, became the truth.
It was a strange quirk of humanity that dictated that if you got any news at nighttime, it was inevitably bad news.
Cults could recruit anyone. Rich, poor, educated, ignorant, religious, atheist, it didn’t matter. Coming from a loving, caring family didn’t protect you. Being skeptical didn’t protect you. Having firm beliefs didn’t protect you. The misconception that people held, that “it would never happen to me,” was the cults’ best asset. Because there was only one vaccination against cult recruitment—being on guard. And if you assumed you were already immune, if you underestimated cults, then you were at risk.
People who were recruited to destructive cults left behind family and friends who were hurt and angry. They felt abandoned, spurned. Parents often felt like they had failed in their upbringing. It was another tool that played into the cult’s hands. When people in your old life were angry, you had good reason to stay away from them.
a sort of constant simmering rage that, left unchecked, could boil into a roaring inferno.
No matter how much regret you poured into a single moment, it never changed its outcome. Time moved only in one direction.
Instagram and Facebook, she’d found out, literally rewired your brain. Likes and comments on a user’s post were found to release bursts of dopamine, which made the user happy. That made sense; everyone enjoyed getting likes on a Facebook post. But this essentially turned the phone into a personal dopamine stimulator. Brain scans showed that in cases of people who were addicted to social media, the brain rewired itself, making them desire more likes, or retweets, or smiling emojis.
There should be a word to define the pleasure of wearing really comfortable pajamas.
a noxious mix of sweat, farts, and disinfectant.
The Chevy had accumulated mechanical problems like some people accumulate coupons.
a strangely reliable piece of junk that had no business being on the road.
When people made threats they intended to act upon, they were usually specific.
“Every neighborhood has stakes now. We only use them to burn mothers who failed as a parent.” “Dads get a free pass?” “Of course. We’re very lenient with dads. But they’re not allowed to participate in the actual burning. Only the mothers are allowed to burn each other.”
letting dark thoughts and anxieties fester in your brain was a big part of being a parent.
