The company mission statement. Have you heard of the Infinite Monkey theorem? They used it on an episode of The Simpsons where Mr Burns has a thousand monkeys typing at a thousand typewriters, the idea being that if given enough time, the monkeys could produce the works of Dickens. This is essentially how company mission statements are created, and why you need not give a fuck about memorizing or adhering to them. They are the products of untold man-hours of “brainstorming” and “focus-grouping”