He didn’t necessarily want to deny himself the grace her love might bestow; however, the words of the ancient swordsman Miyamoto Musashi summed up how he felt: “Respect the gods and Buddhas, but do not rely on them.” It was unreasonable to look to her for salvation, and the mere thought of her giving him unwanted advice and him responding in anger was painful. In the end, there was nothing to do but go on as he had always done and work through his troubles on his own.
