Chlorine Sky

by Mahogany L. Browne

until the sun get so hot I jump in & cool my sadness down.

So I let my shoulders sink low like my heart be

how to move through the world standing tall & demanding to be named properly how to be more than a baller how to be someone that keep ’em guessing how to stop stressing because ain’t nobody got time for the kind of shade I got but everybody got time for some s u n

When I was younger, I thought I had superpowers Thought if I sat real still and stared at a book No one would be able to see me I got so good at it I forget that I’m the only one playing the game Sit still with a book or my head down & you can go missing & just like that

Just stay away from the spotlight The light gets too hot for brown girls like me to feel safe. This is when I learned to play not as smart

This is how I learn to play not as big cause nobody got time for a girl outshining them.

Then I feel sick Because here I am with a chance to do different & instead of being loyal to myself I rather be loyal to Lay Li.

At first, I worry about if I’m funny enough Then I worry about if I talk too much/not enough It’s hard being friends with people When you are still figuring out who you are

“I don’t know who I am. I don’t know if I’m okay. I don’t know. I don’t know. But I’ll figure it out.”

SELFIES BE LIKE A couple of clicks, No Find your angle, Oh

It hit me like that big ass boat & the iceberg.

I want to do something that ain’t got nothing to do with being a girl. I want to do something that don’t give folks a right to tell me To sit quiet Or be still Or play small I don’t want to play small.

Now I realize being a girl is heavy business. It’s like a basketball game with no referee Just two teams & everybody play by they own rules People only care about winning You have to mind the ball or the gravity

See, a real leader knows there is no such thing as a one-person team! If you think there is you’ve already lost

Everything is a game to be won but some of us are playing for things that last longer than material things