Bad Man

by Dathan Auerbach

“Aaron asked me once—this was a long time ago, I guess—if God gets bored just watchin everything. Ya know, just sittin up there forever. So I say that I ain’t got no fuckin clue, because what kind of question is that? But then later, after thinkin for a bit, I say that however old the Earth is, God’s older, right? Older than the galaxy, the whole goddamn universe. Older than everything. The big swingin dick of all that is, sittin around for kajillions of years. Time’s gotta move fast for someone like that, right? Like if you take a dayfly and a person, ya know? So He watches everything all the time, keeping everything running smooth. And it’s never boring because it’s all zipping by so fast. I think it’s a pretty good answer. Good enough. “And then Aaron, that little shithead”—Marty grunted as he pulled on some branches, considered them, then let them go—“Aaron says, ‘What about when He blinks?’ Like a great joke, Aaron. I don’t know if he even realized how much that messed with me.