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Just as my spirit was seeking reincarnation, it took a wrong turn and found its way into a sow’s womb—hence
If you submit to the law, you’ll be beaten to death; if you submit to the Buddha, you’ll starve to death.
And as for Wenjiao: Wenjiao quietly committed suicide after all.
“These are the impoverished hungry ghosts of miscellaneous princes and gangsters,” the judge explained, “who led wicked lives and currently have no hope of reincarnation because no one looks after their memory on earth.
you dim geriatric,”
“I just offered him a little constructive criticism and off he went in a huff.
“Well, yes, a monk did come by and save my life, and I did become his disciple. Then he scolded me for murdering people and I ran off. But don’t worry, I’m heading back to him now.”
“I’m ugly but useful.
“Revenge first, long-term life plans second.”
“Great king! Long snout, huge ears—it’s Pigsy for sure!” Pigsy immediately tried to bury his snout in his chest. “Lift your chin up so we can get a good look at you,” ordered Silver Horn. “Can’t,” mumbled Pigsy. “Birth defect.”
Damn her to a husbandless eternity!
“and don’t try talking to the fake Monkey—he’s terribly dull.”
“The only thing that will end the pregnancy is water from Abortion Spring, inside Child-Destroying Cave on Dissolving-Maleness Mountain.
I’ll be back with some of that water before you can say ‘It’s a beautiful baby girl.’
“Abortion water to the rescue!”
I’m worried it might flare up when the weather turns damp.”
on grounds of professional negligence, Laozi banished me here, where I became the local spirit.
Now, give me my weapons!” “You don’t keep your weapons here anymore,” the maids pointed out. “All right, give me my wife’s weapons!”
dragon-shaped pastries, duck-shaped cakes, lion-shaped bonbons, and roll-shaped rolls.
“They’re both Buddhas! How come I’m a rotten service attendant?” “Because you’re still lazy and talk back, and retain an enormous appetite.
