Help Is On the Way

by Mindy Kaling

“Never complain, never explain” is the old saying, and my mother completely embodied it. Me, on the other hand? I love complaining.

Those noodle places that give you a little card to check off what you want in your pasta drive me insane. I’m not a chef! I start off making a pad thai–type dish and ruin it by adding marinara sauce. I should not be given that much power.

(I’d be just as great if I were gay! Probably better!)

But I’m absolutely terrible when I’m not prepared.

The fear that feeding my daughter formula would actually make her grow so tall that when she met Taylor Swift, she’d be the tall one.