Please Like Me (But Keep Away)

by Mindy Kaling

Orange cheese wrapped in cellophane is all-American, proud, and confident.

I also genuinely believed that my classmates’ like or dislike of white cheese would determine their overall judgment of my total being. Forever.

Part of it is that I am pretty judgmental myself, and always have been.

after an hour or so, the experience of making small talk with acquaintances and strangers was too painful to bear.

That’s when I realized something about myself: I would rather be lonely than bored.

had dreams of conquering my social anxiety and being a part of an inseparable group of girlfriends in Los Angeles.

So my second realization was that I would rather be lonely than be friends with non-friends.

I crave company but don’t like most people.

A group of people who would make it so I never needed to socialize, and we could take over a sofa and I could drink without ever having to speak to a new person: heaven.