The passage from Parshat Ki Tetze points us to an answer. First of all, we watch our desires arise. The soldier at the beginning of Parshat Ki Tetze has to live with his desire, to watch it as it evolves without acting on it, for a full month. And the second thing we can learn from him is that once we have our desires firmly in view, we can then strip them of their exotic dress. We can make them cut off their fingernails and their hair, we can make them take off that revealing frock they were wearing when we first saw them. In other words, we can see them for what they really are.
