More Than A Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament

by Lexie Kite

Try listening to guided meditations (even passively, while you are doing other things) from people like Belleruth Naparstek,

If you feel your church or spiritual community perpetuates these harmful ideals, it is up to you to consider whether you can prompt some change from the inside, or whether it is best for you to find a new place of worship or spiritual home. Many people are in your same situation as they grow up and realize the comfort they once found at their church or in their spiritual study might also be complicated by teachings that are either no longer useful or outright harmful. Connecting with our communities and ourselves spiritually can be an incredible resource for resilience—just be sure it’s also paired with discernment, reflection, and compassion for others who are different from you or don’t share your beliefs.

Such good guidance!!!

Have you ever passed judgment on someone because of how they looked or dressed? Have you ever found out those judgments were wrong? Have you ever felt judged by someone because of how you looked or dressed? Write about both scenarios and describe how they felt. Did judging someone else’s body or being judged by yours help you feel better or worse about other people and about yourself?

a sex difference that shows up as early as age six. In a review of several studies, researcher

use your best judgment while keeping in mind the little splash you might be sending toward whoever you want to praise. It might be an unwelcome reminder to think about her appearance, or it might be the only thing she ever hears compliments about when she would instead really love to be acknowledged for her work, kindness, character, or other aspects of her humanity.

comparison is the thief of joy.

Even comparing your current “before” body to your body ten years ago (which may have then also been your “before” body!) doesn’t often induce feelings of joy. Have you ever looked back at a photo or video of yourself from your past and wished you still looked like that? Do you remember how at the time you didn’t feel great about yourself either? You may have disliked your body then, yet you’re convinced that if you had that body now you’d be thrilled! And then you’re filled with regret, wishing you had just loved yourself back then when you really deserved it compared to the “before” body you’re working with today.

The overwhelming takeaway from these findings is that rather than relying on your BMI or weight to indicate your health, a better strategy is to take a critical look at and acknowledge the systemic factors outside of your control that may be impacting your health, and then focus on practicing healthy behaviors within your control.

eating five or more servings of fruits or vegetables daily, not smoking, limiting alcohol consumption, and exercising at least twelve times per month.

An Anti-Diet Revolutionary Approach, which aims to help readers “make peace with food, free yourself from chronic

The fact that each of us has a body—regardless of our appearance, health status, fitness level, or ability—means that we innately have access to physical power in some

form. This is an inherent power that we ignore and forget when we remain focused on how we appear from the outside.

defined; we are suffering because we are being

bared, shared, compared,

“Look better, feel better.”

Well, shit.

“Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.”

If we resign to live as ornaments to be looked at because it is easier than fighting for a new way of being, we can be assured that our peers and younger generations will grow older with the same limited view of themselves and the same lifelong burden to carry by living to be looked at.

previously unchallenged people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies that were wreaking havoc on my well-being.

But when beautiful girls and women are praised, rewarded, and valued for their beauty—whether explicitly or implicitly—they learn that is what makes them valuable and powerful, and that they have to keep it up in order to hold on to their value.

and I get my hair wet. I always get my hair wet.