Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking

by Caroline Leaf

A Neurocycle Life Hack to Mind-Manage the Habit of People-Pleasing Here’s another example of how to use neurocycling for a common toxic habit: people-pleasing. 1. Gather. Gather awareness about times you’ve noticed yourself people-pleasing and any emotions and physical sensations associated with these memories. What did you think and feel then? What do you think and feel now? 2. Reflect. Now ask yourself questions like: Why did I say yes in that moment when I wanted to say no? What happened when I said yes? How did I feel? Was it helpful or harmful to me? When do I tend to do the most people-pleasing? What scenario, situation, or environment? Who do I try to please the most? Why? What if I said no? Why am I afraid to say no? Am I trying to hide an insecurity? Am I afraid of being alone? 3. Write. Write down your thinking and your answers to the questions above. Are there triggers? Patterns? Can you take some of your questions and answers deeper? How will you reconceptualize this and reconfigure what you will do and say in a way that moves you away from people-pleasing? 4. Recheck. Go back over what you wrote. Are there triggers? Patterns? Can you take some of your questions and answers deeper? How can you reconceptualize this and reconfigure what you will do and say in a way that moves you away from people-pleasing? 5. Active Reach. Often people tend to people-please as a coping strategy for dealing with loneliness or even with self-confidence issues. If you find a lack of...