Starfish

by Lisa Fipps

Mine has a list of Fat Girl Rules. You find out what these unspoken rules are when you break them— and suffer the consequences.

Every kid needs one place they can escape to when life gets to be too much. The pool is my place.

She’s happy with her round body. Content. Comfortable. And no one bullies her because of it. Lucky dog.

It’s unknown how many students’ lives librarians have saved by welcoming loners at lunch.

She makes life hard enough now, while I’m keeping my thoughts to myself. Why aren’t kids allowed to tell grown-ups when they’re wrong? They don’t know everything. Sometimes it’s as if they don’t know anything.

A friend hears what you say with silence.

Ever since then, every chance I get, I squirrel away food. I feel powerful and powerless, free and bound, all at the same time.

Write down the hurtful words people say so you don’t have to carry them around in here.” She taps her head and heart.

They think we’re unhappy. That’s true. But they think I’m unhappy because I’m fat. The truth is, I’m unhappy because they bully me about being fat.

We’re mismatched in all kinds of ways, yet we found each other in the ocean of people on the planet and became friends.

“You wouldn’t understand.” “I’m willing to try.”

It’s like I’ve gotten trapped in this maddening cycle. You’re a little overweight as a kid. People hurt your feelings about it. You eat to bury the shame. People hurt you more. You eat more. Infinite loop.”

Catalina’s family showed me food can bring you together instead of tear you apart. And I’m thankful.

plastered articles like wallpaper for Mom. My faves: Studies show a family’s comments about an overweight child add to a negative self-image.

“I’m fat. I deserve whatever anyone says or does to me.” “No, Ellie. You don’t. No matter what you weigh, you deserve for people to treat you like a human being with feelings.”

“The whale ‘didn’t need to be fixed. He was the whale who sang his own song.’ That really hit home. That’s what the best books do. They make you think, and rethink

I run my fingers along the Mexican punched tin and orange-and-blue Talavera tiles framing the full-length mirror. I see me, all of me, for the first time

I’ve always hated being called a whale, but it’s actually a compliment. They’re big. They’re amazing creatures. And they’re beautiful.