The Speed of Light

by Elissa Grossell Dickey

How easily spells are broken.

Hoping they can give me the courage to face my future.

I’m in that warm, fuzzy stage of tipsiness where life is beautiful, and uncertain futures are easy to ignore.

But life doesn’t always make sense.

It’s a time of loss—like yesterday, when I awoke Christmas morning to find Santa had left me new books and comfy socks but had taken away the handsome stranger I’d nearly kissed the night before. Mean old bastard.

And there’s no room in my life for fairy tales anymore.

God, preholiday me is a jerk on so many levels.

Maybe a little magic is possible.

I end with some sparkle and smiley faces because nothing conveys lighthearted confidence like a well-placed emoji.

I don’t know how long we’ve been this way, scratching the surface, hiding the pain in an attempt to protect each other from it.

And now I am adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

And in this moment I vow that no matter what the future holds for me, I will do everything in my power to make sure she gets the happily ever after she deserves.

My heart has melted away, exploded into a million particles of joy, nothing left but the blissful certainty that I have fallen completely in love with this man.

I can pretend everything is perfect.

“Growing up is a bitch, isn’t it?”

Whenever he’s by my side, the sun shines brighter and I feel strong.

My hand goes to my mouth involuntarily.

literally a gen z

LITERALLY GEN Z

But when does love become obligation?

“Simone, this is one day. One day. All you can do is the best you can. All you can do is keep fighting every day. And I’ll be right there with you. Okay?”

“If you love someone, they’re never a burden. You take care of them no matter what. That’s what loving someone means.”

“Life is short. No day but today.”

don’t want to let another moment pass without taking my shot at the life I deserve.

Maybe I’m not fine. But I’m here. I survived.

“You don’t need to be fixed. You’re perfect, just as you are. Every part of you.”

My fears, my doubts, swarm upward with the snowflakes, joining in their frenzied pattern of beautiful chaos, not knowing where they will land but grateful for every thrilling moment of existence.