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There was a finite number of issues that could be bothering someone who didn’t yet know about things like taxes and existential dread.
“You can always figure out a way to have fun. Even if you can’t go anywhere.”
But maybe being a father was like this. Just being there and doing what needed to be done, one small task at a time until they added up to something good.
I liked that she didn’t feel the need to impress me and I didn’t feel the need to impress her. There was something comforting about it, about just being you in whatever state you happened to be in.
“I just don’t understand why men think we want to see that. It looks like a wrinkled elbow or something. It is not cute. Send me a picture of a puppy or cookies or something.” She ripped open an envelope. “If some guy sent me a picture of a cake at two a.m. like, ‘Hey, gurl, you up?’ I’d be like, ‘Hell yeah I’m up, come over.’”
There are a finite amount of meals in this life and wasting one on something mundane when you have the means to have anything different is a travesty.
If things were different, if he was even remotely interested and I wasn’t staring down my expiration date, I’d jump on that body like a trampoline.
ALS took this from me, like it had taken so many other things. It was more than just a thief of life. It stole hope. Dignity. Dreams. And it would take until there was nothing left. Not even me.
I had a rule. I didn’t dwell on things. It wasn’t allowed, no matter what it was. Life was too short. But this one hurt.
There’s no such thing as a perfect family. There are just families that do better PR than yours.”
My fucking life. Imagine the hot, smart, incredible guy not hitting on you being the preferred scenario.
“One Day Syndrome. You live your life like there’ll always be one day to do all the things you put off. One day you’ll take the trip. One day you’ll have the family. One day you’ll try the thing. You’re all work and not enough play. Money can’t make you happy unless you know what you want, Adrian. So what do you want?”
“Just do it? Just pack up and go.” “Or stay. But make time for other things that aren’t work. Find balance. Find joy.
“Your childhood damage always messes with your relationships. I think it’s a rule.”
How did this woman have my card so thoroughly pulled?
Euphemism?
He was different this afternoon. Lighter somehow. More Mr. Bingley and less Mr. Darcy.
That making work my number one focus was a way to protect myself from getting too close to someone who might end up hurting me. Leaving me, like Dad had.
money can’t make you happy unless you know what you want.
isn’t it funny how the people who insist you’re a catch are never the ones who actually want to date you?”
“I like it when you’re happy,” I said honestly. “Fun is just the lucky by-product.”
he smelled good and heat was coming off him and I was reminded that I’d probably go to my grave with cobwebs on my vagina.
Adrian wasn’t some anecdote to me. He was real. What I was feeling for him was real. It felt like I was cheapening it to invite millions of strangers to join in on it for their entertainment.
“My life’s a damn rom-com…” I whispered. “You’re here in a tuxedo and my boobs are loose, just flying around.”
Hate is exhausting. Life is too short to hate. Let it go. And while you’re at it, it might help you to try to see him as a whole person who isn’t all black or white.
“If you spend your life dwelling on the worst possible thing, when it finally happens, you’ve lived it twice.
It was a reminder that some things are worse than death—losing the things worth living for are worse than death.
He’d cleaned too. There were vacuum lines on the carpet. He’d made my bed and done all the dishes. He’d even cleaned the bathroom. I can’t tell you the strength it took to keep me from running back to his apartment and tearing off his clothes.
I got the feeling flustering Sloan was one of Kristen’s hobbies. She seemed very good at it.
“My inner monologue is like a hundred open tabs. You should hear the things I don’t say.”
Speaking as someone like this, I would advise against anyone ever hearing those thoughts.
He was intelligent and funny and loyal—and he made me want to do things to him.
“If you’re Jesus’s Abs, Drake Lawless is Lucifer’s Penis.
Don’t focus on what’s going to happen. Or in this case, what might happen. Because who knows, you might get there and realize that you’ve built this whole thing up in your head. You might get on that plane and find out that you’re stronger than you think and you’re capable of anything.”
“Are you ready for your Christmas gift?” I cocked my head. “You don’t want to wait until tomorrow?” “It’s midnight. It’s Christmas.” “Is it your dick in a box? Because if it is, I’m very excited to open it.”
“I don’t pretend to be happy. I just refuse to be sad.”
“It’s just an illusion, Adrian. The control is an illusion. No one can promise you forever. People die unexpectedly every day. They have car accidents and heart attacks and strokes and if all you do is live your life fixated on how it ends, you’re just living the end twice. We still have time and all these things that you think will save me won’t. Stop chasing it and just be happy. Be happy with me while you can.”
I should have known he was too good to be true. I should have looked for the reason a man like that would be willing to love someone like me. It was because he didn’t know any better. And now he did.
looking at me now was nothing but looking at the sun.
How could she leave us like that? Why didn’t she try? Took me a long time to realize that just because you don’t recognize the fight they choose doesn’t mean they’re not fighting.”
