First Date

by Sue Watson

But he’s my boyfriend, it’s okay, I suppose.

boyfriend or not that is NOT okay

and I just want to heal over a bottle of wine

Thats not healthy

I am so conflicted about him at the moment. It must be love.

No thats a roller coaster....

‘That’s because I do care. No one cares about you like I do. No one ever will.’ On the surface his words are sweet, but there’s something about the tone that makes me feel slightly claustrophobic.

Thats called possessiveness

‘I didn’t know you had today off.’ I’m surprised, he never mentioned it this morning. ‘Yes you did, I told you.’ ‘I don’t remember.’

Manipulationnnnnnnn

I want to hug him, he’s doing all this for me. If he’d taken a picnic to Helen’s office, maybe she’d have welcomed him with open arms. I shouldn’t take him for granted and behave like a spoiled bitch and keep rejecting him. This guy cares about me enough to bring me lunch, no one’s ever done that for me before, no one’s ever cared enough about whether I’ve eaten or not. Even my mother. And yes, it’s slightly inappropriate, and to everyone else it might even be a bit weird, but how can

but boundariessssss

And it is love, not just infatuation or lust, and it’s clear Alex feels the same. Even when things haven’t been straightforward, I feel like he’s magically restored my faith in men and love. I had begun to think there was no one for me, that all men were out for themselves, afraid of the commitment they were unable to give.

This is NOT love

what I have with Alex.

Bro what u have w alex is NOT a relationship

Can men ever understand the subtleties, the complex bonds, the conflicting feelings around female friendships?

Bro its not all men who are like this, stop generalizing

feel like she’s trying to push the evening in the way she wants it to go, not considering my feelings.

But dont you want to have fun too??? Come on now

and right now, Alex is suffering.

Is he?

‘I’ll probably never be okay, but if you leave me, Hannah, I don’t know what I’ll do.’

Codependency

and I’m not sure he has the strength to handle a rejection from me at this point.

Reject him anyway girlie

‘You’re not going to throw me in a room and keep me there tied up, are you?’

Why would you say that

‘Darling, when we’re married and I become partner at my firm, you won’t need to work.

Ew

‘So, Hannah, will you move in with me?’

WHAT

Maybe he didn’t punch that guy tonight.

No no no you just ha a break thru

think of everything. I called Jas earlier today and told her you need to take Friday off.’

Bro thats overstepping

Perhaps spending time together, with no distractions, will give me a chance to decide what I really want.

You cant figure out what you want with someonewho just doesnt respect your autonomy and need for space

If I start to feel okay with him again, then perhaps we can work things out? If not, then I have to find my way out of this.

That is flawedd thinking

before she accuses him of taking over my life and my work and treating me like a 1950s wife.

But that is whats happening you dumb bitch

But I donated five hundred pounds to a domestic violence charity this afternoon –

Wtf????

I believe this has been a wake-up call for him, and perhaps now he will realise that he can’t always be where I am.

Ppl like that dont change babes

Right now, here with Alex I feel like I’m home.

Nope youre delulu