All In (Full Tilt #2)

by Emma Scott

“Take care of Kacey. Please. She’ll need you. She’s strong. But if she falls, help her… Love her, Theo. This life is…short. Don’t hold back. Okay?”

3 pages in and I’m fucking tearing up.

I had one job here. Not even. Half a job. And I’d failed.

I worked out for two solid hours, trying to sweat out the feelings buried in my guts. It left me exhausted and wanting more sleep—I didn’t get much these days—but rest wasn’t part of my routine.

Me.

We’d all drifted apart after Jonah. He was the center of our goddamn universe and without him, we were starting to lose whatever pull it was that kept us in the same orbit.

I had a routine now.

“If you want to help me, you’ll give me one more.” “Last one,” Big E said, pouring a finger of whiskey into my glass. “I’m not giving up on you, Kacey.” I raised my drink in a mock toast and took a sip. I clinked my teeth painfully on the edge of the glass, ruining the I’ve-got-my-shit-together-thank-you-very-much vibe I was trying to exude.

but such is the beauty of being drunk—it’s so much easier not to give a shit.

There is beauty everywhere, even in the things that scare you the most…

Important details in the home of a 24/7 drunk.

aching head on the white duvet and curled my body around the orb. Knees up, arms curved, I pulled the universe snug against my chest, cradling it to my heart.

I am the drowned girl. I’m drowning, Jonah. I need you back. Please come back…”

Every night, I called one final thought into the deep darkness: Come back to me. And just before the dark consumed me, a whisper returned: My angel, let me go…

I am in public balling my eyes out rn.

You can prepare all you want for someday. Nothing prepares you for the day of.

Not for excitement or joy. But in the way you look when you’re scared to death and that fear is lighting up your nerves like a switchboard.

I was clutching my beer bottle hard, half hoping it would shatter, cut me open and break the spell of pain.

Still, I knew Theo was there. I wasn’t alone anymore And that was enough. That was everything.

For Jonah, I thought. For you, my sweet love. I’ll do this for you.

Las Vegas held all that scared me the most, and it was beautiful.

When little slivers of hope put in an appearance, you have to grab them and hold on. Give them a smile. Otherwise, what’s the fucking point?

“Real men take care of the women in their lives as a matter of course. Not because they want something in return.”

This. This. This.

You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same.— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“A semicolon is where a writer can choose to end the sentence,” she said, tucking a lock of brown hair behind her ear. “But they don’t. The story goes on. It’s a symbol of hope. To keep going.” She smiled tremulously. “Sometimes I need that reminder.”

to beg like a dog for a scrap.

“The biggest fucker in the sea,” Phoebe yelled. “The Moby Goddamn Dick of labels.”

“Where there is ruin, there is hope for treasure.” She gave me another of her knowing smiles. “It’s one of my favorites.” “Yeah,” I said, a smile finding its way to my lips. “It sounds pretty fucking good to me too.”

“Yes, it is,” Phoebe said. “I just used it.” “Well, shit, can’t argue with that logic.”

Their banter is too funny.

“Kace,” he whispered. “My treasure.”

All in (n) (poker): 1. when a player has moved all of their chips into the pot; an all-or-nothing bet.

“Don’t go soft on me, Fletcher. Goodbyes are hard enough.”

my universe, and I was hers. Love had no boundaries, no rules, no favorites. And no limits.

“I see you, Theo. I see you. If Jonah was the glue that held us together, you’re the rock we set our backs to. I’m proud of you for that.” His chin quivered, his voice cracked. “I’m so proud you’re my son.”