Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Carol Tavris

on small gifts as well as the big ones is well known to marketers, lobbyists, and social psychologists: being given a gift evokes an implicit desire to reciprocate. The Fuller Brush salespeople understood this principle decades ago when they pioneered the foot-in-the-door technique: Give a housewife a little brush as a gift, and she won’t slam the door in your face. And once she hasn’t slammed the door in your face, she will be more inclined to invite you in, and eventually to buy your expensive brushes. Robert Cialdini, who has spent many years studying influence and persuasion techniques, systematically observed Hare Krishna advocates raise money at airports.30 Asking weary travelers for a donation wasn’t working; the requests just made the travelers mad at them. And so the Krishnas came up with a better idea: They would approach a target traveler and press a flower into his hands or pin a flower to his jacket. If the target refused the flower and tried to give it back, the Krishna would demur and say, “It is our gift to you.” Only then would the Krishna