As Debra and Frank’s problems accumulated, each developed an implicit theory of how the other person was wrecking the marriage. (These theories are called “implicit” because people are often unaware that they hold them.) Debra’s implicit theory is that Frank is socially awkward and passive; his theory is that Debra is insecure and cannot accept herself or him as they are.
Remonds me of Kahnemanns ideas of bias. We see faults and think they are personal instrad of environmental in others and vice versa on ourselves.
