The Big A.S.S. Party (Zodiac Academy, #5.5)

by Caroline Peckham

All I knew was that the sound of Geraldine Grus begging me to slip my shark into the dark was a million times hotter than a girl begging me to fuck her in any kind of conventional way.

"Save your silken words, you beastly boy, I know you wish to ruin me but I intend to own you first,"

But fate had a way of outing the crumblecake and soon enough, the Heirs would be given a healthy serving of it from Madam Zodiac herself.

Well soak my vegetable patch, I am weakened by this foxy flounder. I will have to keep my whelks away from this libidinous lichen tonight!

"We just got Grussed," I said with a grin. "You don't know what the fuck happened at first but once you get used to it and just go along for the ride, you'll find yourself having the time of your life."

"Sex with her is a constant series of asking yourself what the fuck just happened? What the fuck did she just say? What the fuck did she just call me? Why the fuck does that feel so goddamn good? And that's the most you'll ever find out about it because she's mine," I informed him.

He still couldn't touch her, couldn't kiss her, couldn't even be alone with her. He loved her and he couldn't ever be with her because our ambition had fucked it. I'd felt his resistance when we'd been doing that shit to the Vegas when they first arrived and I'd felt enough of his emotions whenever his father put pressure on him to get it done to know he wasn't allowing himself to feel his own feelings. He put so much effort into resisting her that he had been hating himself for wanting her when it should have been the most natural thing in the world.

"Mildred is planning to crash the party," I explained. "I will officially have blue balls for the rest of time if I don't stop her from turning up." "You do realise I can't even get hard unless I'm thinking about Roxy, right?" Darius growled. "As it stands, I'm officially dating my right hand for the rest of forever while picturing a girl I can't even touch without lightning trying to strike us down."

"One ice palace for a wannabe princess coming up," he said with a deadly look in his dark eyes. "No one fucks with my girl on her birthday."

"You two bring shame on yourselves," I growled at Diego and Sofia.

I realised I was holding my hand against my heart as I stared wistfully at the bathroom door. I was often stolen away into a daze in their midst, their power, regal nature and utter class overwhelming me at times.

"If she's addressed them all that way then we're going to end up beating the Vegas' asses on their birthday just to remind everyone who's in charge around here."

"I'm more concerned about the fact that my girl put my name last," I ground out. Surely I should be the first Heir that came to Geraldine’s mind??

"Maybe I'll lock her down tonight," I said stubbornly. "No, scratch that. I will lock her down tonight."

"His family were pushing him to try and make a match with one of the Vegas," Darius put in. "He made several advances towards Roxy before I challenged him in Fire Elemental and made him eat sand in front of everyone then threatened to do it daily if he didn't back the fuck off of her. So maybe he’s after the next highest ranking Fae, and you have to admit, Grus would be it.”

"Please confirm your attendance by placing a tear of joy on this page and follow the instructions to the main event."

The others copied me, though Darius opted to forgo the jacket, remaining in his black dress shirt and slacks and looking just this side of don't-give-a-fuck as usual. No wonder he and Tory Vega were a match made in heaven. I bet she’d turn up to her damn coronation in a crop top and booty shorts if she ever did claim the throne. The two of them were so similar that I couldn't believe we hadn't figured out that they were meant for each other from the start.

Geraldine had created a perfect small scale Palace of Souls.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think she was wet for the Vegas," Seth muttered as he looked around with his eyebrows raised.

"Just a chair?" I asked in astonishment. "That throne is the whole reason we're at war with them. We're all waiting for the day when we can sit our asses on the throne and you call it just a chair?" "I already have sat my ass on it. Do you think that makes me more powerful than you now?" Darius asked, his voice teasing.

"Because I'm a hateful bitch who believed no one could ever love me for so long that I ended up making it come true."

"But if you or your little buddies say a single word about the ugly ass dresses we're wearing or anything else to piss us off, I'll make sure to tell her you've got manticrabs and you made me cry on my birthday and you'll never get near her lady bush again."

Darius was telling her that he belonged to her and that he wanted her to belong to him in return. Even if the stars wouldn't allow that in a physical sense.

"I do mind! I mind as much as a tomato minds when it is denounced as a vegetable even though it is clearly a fruit!" "No offence, but are you on something? Because I wanna try it." Seth smirked that smirk which made all kinds of sinful things happening to girls. My Lady Petunia wasn't immune to his charm, but by the big dipper, I would not be lured into his Faetrap. "I have never taken a potion or lotion in my life, nor have I ever had the notion," I gasped in offence.

Tory groaned softly as the image of her face faded from the sky and Darius grinned at her with enough heat to light a forest fire. It was a fucking travesty that they couldn't be together, but it made me realise that I couldn't keep letting this thing between me and Geraldine hang in this undefined limbo. I wanted her to be mine. All mine. Officially. And I was going to do what it took to confirm that.

I nodded once, biting my tongue on screaming about how fucked up everything she'd just said was. "So give me that time," I said. "Two years. Two years of you and me to fuck and fight and fall in love and be all the things we won't be able to be once you walk down that aisle. Give me that time to try and convince you that that life isn't what you really want. We don't ever have to talk politics, we don't even have to tell anyone if you don't want to. Just let it be me and you, at least for a little while."

I was going to convince her to say yes to my proposal. And then I was going to spend those two years making her fall for me so hard that there would be no way in hell that she could ever give me up.