The Big A.S.S. Party (Zodiac Academy, #5.5)

by Caroline Peckham

“What? Why does Tory think you’re a badass?” Max asked in confusion. “You’re as straight laced as they come.” I offered up a hearty chuckle in response to that. “My ladies do like to bring out the scoundrel in me,” I admitted as we started to walk up the rocky steps which cut through the cliff and led back to the top. “I’ve had a hand in many a naughty notion, scandalous sabotage, tricksy tango and meddlesome mission.” “Oh yeah?” Max asked, catching my waist and pushing me back against the craggy wall. “You wanna share any of those stories with me?” “Do you think I would betray my ladies’ secrets?” I scoffed. “I’d sooner knock nobblies with a narwhal or sell my soul to the serpent of the sea, or-” “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re wet for the Vegas,” Max said, rolling his eyes. “How about for tonight we just forget they exist?” “I could sooner forget I had bosoms on my chest!” I gasped. Max’s eyes dipped to take in my breasts and a smile curved his lips in the most devilishly delicious way. “No chance of forgetting about those,” he agreed. “Oh you horny hornet,” I chided, smacking his arm lightly.

Lol

“Please, Grus,” Max breathed. “I just want to be free of all that for one night. I want to get to know Geraldine. And I’m hoping you might want to get to know me, too?”

“Do you trust me?” Max called as a laugh spilled from my lips too. I looked at him, meaning to say that I’d sooner trust a goat with a basket of socks but the way the moonlight shone in his dark eyes had me nodding instead. “For tonight,” I agreed because it seemed the moon wanted that and I wasn’t one to go against the stars. “Then don’t let go!” Max’s grip on my hand tightened as he raised his other hand and called on his air magic.

I clung to his hand like it was my only lifeline as his magic swept us up towards the stars and the moon which was drawing ever closer to the moment of total eclipse. I could feel it watching us, willing us to take this moment together in our hands and hold on tight and I would have been a nary ninny to refuse its wishes.

When he’d had enough of showing off, he swam straight for me with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. He seemed different here, less guarded and more free. Like he left all the weight of his responsibilities at the surface and just allowed himself to be down here.

He reached above his head and I could feel the echo of his magic in the water that surrounded us as it slowly slid back, drawing off of my flesh and his until we were left standing on the sandy bottom of the lake in a wide bubble of air. I tilted my head back, my lips parting in awe at the raw, unbridled power of his magic as he made this immense magic look as easy as trapping a Faefly in a jar. And those pesky insects were tricky enough. “Well aren’t you just a bucket full of party tricks,” I breathed, my gaze hooked on the orb of water which shimmered above our heads. “You don’t know the half of it,” Max teased, moving so close to me that I couldn’t help but drop my eyes to meet his.

I’d been drooling like a dog at dinner time every time I’d looked his way since the first time I’d laid eyes on him. I just wouldn’t admit to such an indiscretion towards an Heir on any other night. But for tonight I was going to forget that and find out just who Maxy boy was beneath all the political bluster and wrong opinions. “You’re gonna make me work my ass off for you, aren’t you?” Max groaned as he finally gave up on trying to boost my lust. “Are you saying you’re not up to the challenge?” I suggested with a wily eyebrow. The smile he gave me made me go all gooey in the centre.

Why the fuck did I like that so much? Shouldn’t I have been asking her why the fuck she was always comparing me to sexually active sealife? I didn’t know and I didn’t care. All I knew was that the sound of Geraldine Grus begging me to slip my shark into the dark was a million times hotter than a girl begging me to fuck her in any kind of conventional way.

"Not yet you haven't, you squeaky squid," she replied as she crawled on top of me and moved up my body until her thighs were parted right above my mouth. "But you can make yourself useful until your long Sherman is ready to go again." I should have made a fuss about the fact that she kept taking charge of me, but somehow it was just turning me on, so instead I gave her my dirtiest smile and grabbed hold of her round ass so tight that my fingers were digging in. "Your wish is my command," I promised her as I dragged her down so that I could taste her and her moans and crazy exclamations were quickly echoing around my room once more.

"Well, yeah. But it's about the Vegas," he said temptingly. "And their birthday." "Why in the blue and eternal heavens of the sky would you and those naughty Neptunes care about the Vegas' birthday?" It was hard to ignore how devilish he looked today in a fitted shirt the colour of dolphin as it rode an ocean wave under the silvery light of the moon. "Because Darius wants to impress Tory and Darcy needs cheering up. Darius has already started getting the decoration u-"

Darius was busy placing candles in the top of it as if this cake would ever be placed beneath the Vegas’ delicate noses. I would die first. I would die a thousand deaths in a thousand battles to ensure that cake never, ever, found its way to the Vegas on the day of their birth. It was an insult. An abomination. A scandal waiting to happen. This cake was not the cake that any Fae should be offered on their birthday. It was a cake more fitting for a casual afternoon tea on a Sunday with a violent inmate from Darkmore Penitentiary. It should not have seen the light of day on the eleventh of June, the most important day of all days.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHA

"Well, I had a go at baking. And the guys helped. Seth did the icing. But I spread the strawberry filling so..." Darius shrugged. Shrugged! "Oh my cherry tips in a can of whoopass, I cannot cope. It offends my eyes. I cannot look at it directly. Please, someone take it away!" I wailed, stumbling backwards as I came over weak and Maxy boy steadied me. Seth sniggered and Caleb pressed his face into a pillow, obviously overcome with emotion for how terrible a job he had done here.

I AM SCREAMING

“We worked damn hard on that,” Seth said with a sideways grin. “I made the icing from scratch.” “No you didn’t,” Darius said and I wailed like a banshee. Store bought icing? How could this get any worse? "Calm down, Gerry, it's just a cake," Max said in my ear as he wrapped his arm around my waist. Oh my, I was not prepared for his firm touch and the way my knickers flared with the fires of the sun. I had to concentrate!

“I just wanted to do something nice for them,” he growled like a cougar backed into a corner. “I wanted to see Roxy smile and Darcy…fuck, she’s dealing with enough shit. I just wanted one good day. It might not be a fucking fairy wonderland in here, but it’s a place where we can all forget the world for a while.” Darius shrugged his impressive shoulders and I sighed heavily, walking toward him with my arms held wide.

“Shed?” Caleb growled as Darius looked ready to give me the what-for and the who-how. But I didn’t have time to dilly and dally around here.

“Good day to you. Please ensure that monstrosity of a cake is incinerated, Darius, I shall spend several hours searing its image from my retinas henceforth.”

"What the fuck just happened?" Darius asked as he looked down at the cake we'd all spent the morning baking with a frown. "We just got Grussed," I said with a grin. "You don't know what the fuck happened at first but once you get used to it and just go along for the ride, you'll find yourself having the time of your life." "Do I wanna know if that's what sex with her is like?" Caleb asked, looking half intrigued and half disturbed. "Sex with her is a constant series of asking yourself what the fuck just happened? What the fuck did she just say? What the fuck did she just call me? Why the fuck does that feel so goddamn good? And that's the most you'll ever find out about it because she's mine," I informed him.

He still couldn't touch her, couldn't kiss her, couldn't even be alone with her. He loved her and he couldn't ever be with her because our ambition had fucked it. I'd felt his resistance when we'd been doing that shit to the Vegas when they first arrived and I'd felt enough of his emotions whenever his father put pressure on him to get it done to know he wasn't allowing himself to feel his own feelings. He put so much effort into resisting her that he had been hating himself for wanting her when it should have been the most natural thing in the world.

"It's just, her fucking birthday. And after we saw the place they were living in the mortal world, I'm willing to bet she never had parties or presents or any of the shit we take for granted and now I can't even give her a fucking kiss. I feel like she's mine, but she isn't at all. If she was my girl, I'd give her the damn world for her birthday. And now I have to just stand back and turn up at a party I was never even meant to be invited to and question myself over the gift I got her for the millionth goddamn time because it feels like a dick move to give it to her and an even bigger dick move not to and I just..." He shrugged helplessly, shaking his head as he moved away and tugged his shirt off, clearly planning to go for a fly to clear his head.

"Mildred is planning to crash the party," I explained. "I will officially have blue balls for the rest of time if I don't stop her from turning up." "You do realise I can't even get hard unless I'm thinking about Roxy, right?" Darius growled. "As it stands, I'm officially dating my right hand for the rest of forever while picturing a girl I can't even touch without lightning trying to strike us down." "Hopefully not while your dick is in your hand though," Seth teased as he moved to join the conversation with Caleb beside him. "Because that sounds painful." "Hilarious," Darius deadpanned.

Caleb took another picture of him and sent it to Tory with a happy birthday message and I laughed harder, knowing Darius would lose his shit over that when he found out.

Ahayaahhahaahahaah

I focused on dear Darcy for a moment who always had pain hiding behind her eyes like a wortworm with the case of the woebegones these days. It broke my heart into a million pieces and it would never be whole again until her smile was true, but with Professor Orion gone and quite the scandal in his wake, I wasn’t sure when or how or if it could be fixed. I only knew that I would stand resiliently at her side until the end of time and punish any naysayers who doubted her love for him and his for her. My Lady Tory held quite the demons in her dillypurse too; those black rings in her eyes would always make my stomach roil with the power of a hurricane contained within a volcano. At least that rogue of a Dragon boy was making some effort now, trying to right his wrongs, but he had far more work to do if he was ever going to officially earn his way out of my book of pompous turdbiscuits.

"I'm more concerned about the fact that my girl put my name last," I ground out. Surely I should be the first Heir that came to Geraldine’s mind??

Ahaahahaha

"Does it make me a complete piece of shit if I fully intend to run off any and every dude who so much as looks at her, let alone strikes up the idea of a political match? Even though I know that I'll be walking down the aisle myself the moment I graduate," Darius asked. "Yeah," Seth said with a soft whimper. "It does make you a sack of shit. But I'll totally be there to watch you beat the fuck out of every single one of them."

"It's just a chair," Darius muttered, shrugging a shoulder. "If we start fucking with Geraldine's decorations she'll throw a fit and try to kick us out and then we will either have to leave or make a fuss which could descend into a fight. That doesn't really seem like the best way to make sure they enjoy their party." "Just a chair?" I asked in astonishment. "That throne is the whole reason we're at war with them. We're all waiting for the day when we can sit our asses on the throne and you call it just a chair?" "I already have sat my ass on it. Do you think that makes me more powerful than you now?" Darius asked, his voice teasing. "When?" Seth gasped, his eyes widening and jealously scrawled over his features. "When we were at the palace for Christmas. I left the party and went to sit in it and pout over Roxy." "You're lucky she didn't find you there," I joked, shaking my head at the audacity of him. “Who the fuck just goes and sits in a throne like it doesn't mean a goddamn thing?" "Actually, I'm lucky she did find me there," he said, smirking at us and my mouth popped open at the taste of lust which escape him.

MY FREAK

The two of them were dressed in huge puffy yellow dresses with the Gemini constellations lit up on the front and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of them. Seth had to clutch his gut to stop himself from howling and Darius smirked as his gaze raked over Tory in what was clearly a Geraldine special.

"I don't think I'm suited to a gentlefae," she said with a shudder. "Tall, dark and devastating seems to be my kryptonite." I glanced at Darius as the edge of a smile touched his lips at her words, but it fell off again as she went on.

"Because I'm a hateful bitch who believed no one could ever love me for so long that I ended up making it come true." Her words were hard, but she didn't have her mental shields up and I could feel the truth of them. She was just as broken up over all of this as Darius, wracked with guilt over her part in what had happened to them and carrying a healthy dose of self-loathing too.

I could just see two sisters who were united in their heartache, putting on a show for their friend as they indulged in this party for her sake and not theirs. "Is she really as miserable as she looks right now?" Darius asked me in a low tone and I shrugged because I couldn't exactly deny it. "A lot of people don't like birthdays," I said, trying to lessen the sting of the truth, but his jaw just tightened in response. He blamed himself for everything she was going through and there wasn’t anything that any of us could say to make him change his mind on that.

"Thanks so much for putting this together, Geraldine," Darcy said, changing the subject as they headed for their chairs at the table. "It's perfect. When you first said about us celebrating I had the horrible feeling that you might have organised some huge party or something with every other Fae in the academy lurking around and expecting us to put on a show. And after everything that’s gone on recently since Orion went to prison, I can’t think of anything worse than enduring the stares tonight." "Yeah, thank fuck for small miracles," Tory added. "I'm surprised you were able to rein yourself in, but I really don't think I could have dealt with a massive party. Not with all eyes on us. I swear, my whole life revolves around people staring at us for one reason or another recently and I can't think of anything better than just hanging out with you guys tonight."

"Can you imagine having to endure a night with the Heirs?" Darcy groaned. "I mean, they might have been a little less abrasive recently, but I swear being around them is just exhausting. Everything's a competition or a power play." "Or a dick measuring contest," Tory added with a smirk.

"But if you or your little buddies say a single word about the ugly ass dresses we're wearing or anything else to piss us off, I'll make sure to tell her you've got manticrabs and you made me cry on my birthday and you'll never get near her lady bush again." I laughed loudly as I looked down at the layers of yellow chiffon which she was swathed in and tried to squash all traces of amusement from my features. "I wouldn't dream of it. The two of you look fucking...unbelievable," I said with a smirk that let them know that wasn't exactly a compliment and Tory laughed as she caught Darcy's arm and tugged her away towards the bar. "We need to be drunk if we're going to survive this," she muttered and Darcy laughed without humour.

"Happy birthday," Darius said to her, drinking in the sight of her even in that ugly fucking dress. "Sorry you have to endure my company." Tory laughed unashamedly and Darcy smirked, not caring about us hearing what she'd said either. "Prove us wrong for thinking that then, Dragon boy," Tory teased. "Maybe I'll even let you dance with me." Darius was practically fucking glowing with her undivided attention on him

Darcy looked more than a little surprised as she accepted hers, glancing at Tory before opening it. Inside the box was a platinum charm bracelet with seven charms on it. One for each of the elements they possessed, air, fire, earth and water, another with the Gemini symbol on it, a letter G and an R. "You had to go for Gwenadlina and Roxanya, didn't you?" Darcy teased as she inspected it. "You couldn't just let that slide?" "Not a chance," Darius replied with a smirk. “Unless you’d rather I call you shrew? That’s always an option.” "No thanks, but just for that, I'm going to buy little crown charms to go with them. Seeing as we're going for total accuracy here, it only makes sense to point out the fact that we’re princesses too,” Darcy said, offering him an insolent look.

Tory laughed as she opened her own box and lifted a matching bracelet from the little cushion inside it. The only difference to this was the Dragon charm carved entirely out of rose quartz which shone pink beside the letter R. She stared at it for long enough to make it clear that she understood the meaning of the rose quartz. Darius was telling her that he belonged to her and that he wanted her to belong to him in return. Even if the stars wouldn't allow that in a physical sense.

SOBBING

He bent low to fix it in place, putting his face close to hers and the moment he'd clasped it around her wrist, she leaned forward and brushed her lips over his.

"What the fuck?" said the turnip and Darcy and Tory burst into hysterics. "I fucking love you, Geraldine," Tory snorted, clutching her side as Seth's tiny turnip eyes wheeled towards her. He looked down at himself and saw my illusion, his pouty turnip lips cracking into a grin. "Nice magic, Grus. Doesn't rival an Heir's though." He threw out a hand and I wailed as his magic fell over me, expecting an attack, but instead the trickling coolness of an illusion ran over my flesh. Darcy laughed harder and the sound was music to my ears as I looked down to find the cheeky chihuahua had turned me into a giant buttery bagel. “Oh butter me right side up, I am quite the baked good, aren’t I?” I joked. Seth roared a laugh and my sides ached as I chortled along with everyone else. Darcy caught my hand and Seth dispelled the illusion the same moment I removed the one from him. "Come on, let's go dance," Darcy said with a genuine smile and my heart lifted like a Harpy in an updraft. She grabbed Tory's hand too and Seth bounded ahead of us just as Caleb appeared jogging up the stairs.

I was just the wrong side of tipsy. Not drunk but like, swoony. Was swoony a word? I looked at Gerry as she hopped up and down to a sinful bass and decided it was. I was swoony for her. Not that I was gonna start saying dumb shit like that out loud, but yeah. Swoony.

Darius was standing close enough to Tory for them to be sharing body heat without quite touching each other. Instead of watching any of the fireworks, his gaze was fixed on her, this look of longing on his face that made my soul hurt. Seth had an arm slung around Darcy's shoulders and he was trying to encourage her to howl at the moon while she called him a butt sniffing dog boy and Caleb agreed with her with a roar of laughter.

Tory groaned softly as the image of her face faded from the sky and Darius grinned at her with enough heat to light a forest fire. It was a fucking travesty that they couldn't be together, but it made me realise that I couldn't keep letting this thing between me and Geraldine hang in this undefined limbo. I wanted her to be mine. All mine. Officially. And I was going to do what it took to confirm that.