The Dictionary of Lost Words
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Read between February 11 - April 13, 2023
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“And it proves I exist,”
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“I clean, I help with the cooking, I set the fires. Everything I do gets eaten or dirtied or burned—at the end of a day there’s no proof I’ve been here at all.”
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“Me needlework will always be here,” she said. “I see this and I feel…well, I don’t know the word. Like I’ll always be here.” “Permanent,” I said. “And the rest of the time?” “I feel like a dandelion just before the wind blows.”
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“It ain’t ladylike to crawl about the Scrippy, Essymay. I don’t know why your father lets you.” “Because I’m not a lady,” I said. “You ain’t a cat, either.”
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Our thinking was limited by convention (the most subtle but oppressive dictator). Please forgive our lack of imagination.
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“Words are like stories, don’t you think, Mr. Sweatman? They change as they are passed from mouth to mouth; their meanings stretch or truncate to fit what needs to be said.
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A vulgar word, well placed and said with just enough vigour, can express far more than its polite equivalent.
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“The Dictionary is a history book, Esme. If it has taught me anything, it is that the way we conceive of things now will most certainly change.
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“Oh, yes. I feel him more here than I ever have in church. Out here it’s like we’re stripped of all our clothes, of the callouses on our hands that tell our place, of our accents and words. He cares for none of it. All that matters is who you are in your heart. I’ve never loved him as much as I should, but here I do.”
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“It’s not his place to forgive you, Essymay,” she whispered into my ear. “It’s no one’s but yours.”
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“It’s not about forgiveness, Essymay. We can’t always make the choices we’d like, but we can try to make the best of what we must settle for. Take care not to dwell.”
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suggestion, not dictum.”
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titbits
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When I arrived at the Radcliffe Infirmary, they told me he was gone. Gone. I thought. It was wholly inadequate.
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This is no time to be strong, my dear girl. Harry was father and mother to you, and his passing will leave you feeling lost. My own father was very dear to me, and I know a little of how your heart must ache. Let it ache.