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“The first time I saw Lily, she was making cucumber-and-watercress soup.”
nasty crunchy water soup
Our thinking was limited by convention (the most subtle but oppressive dictator). Please forgive our lack of imagination.
“Why do you come every day?” asked Bill. I had to think. “It’s about seeing something before it’s fully formed. Watching it evolve. I imagine sitting here on opening night and appreciating every scene all the more because I understand what has led to it.” Bill laughed. “What’s so funny?” “Nothing. It’s just that you don’t speak often, but when you do it’s perfect.” I looked down and rubbed my hands together. “And I love that you never talk about hats,” Bill said. “Hats? Why would I talk about hats?” “Women like to talk about hats.” “Do they?” “The fact you don’t know that is what will make me
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“You are Edith’s favourite topic of conversation, and I never tire of hearing about you.” She leaned in. “You must forgive us, Esme. We are a couple of spinsters without a dog; we must discuss something.”
Was I better? Before Shropshire I’d felt broken, as though I would fall should the scaffold of my work be removed. I didn’t feel that now, but there was a fine crack through the middle of me, and I suspected it might never mend. I remembered Lizzie apologising to Mrs. Lloyd the first time she stayed to chat, for the chip in the cup. “A chip doesn’t stop it from holding tea,” Mrs. Lloyd had said.
It struck me that we are never fully at ease when we are aware of another’s gaze. Perhaps we are never fully ourselves. In the desire to please or impress, to persuade or dominate, our movements become conscious, our features set.
“It doesn’t change anything,” he said. “How can it not?” “I don’t know. It just doesn’t.” “But it might, over time.” He shook his head. “I don’t think so. The war has made the present more important than the past, and far more certain than the future. How I feel right now is all I can rely on. And after all that you’ve told me, I think I love you more.”
Stay busy—I cannot overstate the benefits of a busy day for an anxious mind or a lonely heart.
This is what she did, you see: she noticed who was missing from the official records and gave them an opportunity to speak.
