They took the importance of context seriously and started with a romantic movie and then took turns retelling each other their “Story of Us.”15 This is a trick they adapted from John Gottman’s relationship research—they narrate to each other how they met and fell in love, to remind each other (and themselves) of the meaning of their shared life, their affection and admiration for each other. It works differently for each of them; it activates Carol’s accelerator by making her feel in love, and it deactivates Merritt’s brakes by making her feel trusting of her partner.
