Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

by Emily Nagoski

tl;dr Your brain has a sexual “accelerator” that responds to “sex-related” stimulation—anything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, or imagine that your brain has learned to associate with sexual arousal. Your brain also has sexual “brakes” that respond to “potential threats”—anything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, or imagine that your brain interprets as a good reason not to be turned on right now. These can be anything from STIs and unwanted pregnancy to relationship issues or social reputation. There’s virtually no “innate” sex-related stimulus or threat; our accelerators and brakes learn when to respond through experience. People vary in how sensitive their brakes and accelerator are. Take the little quiz on page 54 to find out how sensitive yours are—and remember that most people score in the medium range, and all scores are normal.

this book teaching what people's "accelerator" & "brakes" are in a sexual relationship is SO eye opening. THIS IS GOOD STUFF!

It’s completely normal that context changes how you perceive sensations. It’s just how brains work.