And, of course, this contradiction is more pronounced for women, who are the culturally sanctioned “managers of relationships.” When the going gets tough in a heterosexual relationship, it often falls to the woman to rein in her own stress response, in order to create space for the man to feel his Feels. In other words, if there is stress in a relationship, cultural rules make it likely to impact the woman more than the man, and it’s likely to impact her sexual interest and response. And because she has to hold on to her stress, so that her partner can let his go, she is more likely to become
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