How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

by Nicole LePera

The ego, attached to its ideas, opinions, and beliefs, runs as an endless stream of thoughts keeping us locked in our identity. The ego’s core objective is to protect our identity at all times and at whatever cost. This rigidity is part of the ego’s defensive stance. The ego needs to be an inflexible protector in order to make sure that the softer, more defenseless part of us (namely our inner child) remains safe. That’s why the ego is so defensive and fear based. It views everything within the context of a rigid dichotomy: good versus bad or right versus wrong. It is staunchly attached to its opinions and believes that we are our opinions. The ego interprets any disagreement or criticism as a direct threat to our very existence. That’s because when we are in an egoic state, our beliefs and thoughts are who we are; anything that even questions those narratives is adversarial. When our opinions are questioned, the ego believes that our core self is being threatened.