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January 7 - January 8, 2023
Holistic Psychology focuses on the mind, body, and soul in the service of rebalancing the body and nervous system and healing unresolved emotional wounds.
It tells a new, exciting story, where physical and psychological symptoms are messages, not lifelong diagnoses that can only be managed. It’s a story that gets to the root of chronic pain, stress, fatigue, anxiety, gut dysregulation, and nervous system imbalances that have long been dismissed or ignored by traditional Western medicine.
Healing is a conscious process that can be lived daily through changes in our habits and patterns.
The familiar feels safe; that is, until we teach ourselves that discomfort is temporary and a necessary part of transformation.
No longer do we need to accept the narrative of “faulty genes” as our fate. Emerging science tells us that the genes we inherit aren’t fixed; they are influenced by their environment, beginning in utero and continuing throughout our lives.
Healing is a daily event. You can’t “go somewhere” to be healed; you must go inward to be healed.
You may label these thoughts as “you,” but they are not you. You are the thinker of your thoughts, not the thoughts themselves.
Every time we make a choice that is outside of our default programming, our subconscious mind will attempt to pull us back to the familiar by creating mental resistance. Mental resistance can manifest as both mental and physical discomfort. It can take the form of cyclical thoughts, such as I can just do this later or I don’t need to do this at all, or physical symptoms, such as agitation, anxiety, or simply not feeling like “yourself.”
There is tremendous freedom in not believing every thought we have and understanding that we are the thinker of our thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. Our minds are powerful tools, and if we do not become consciously aware of the disconnection between our authentic Selves and our thoughts, we give our thoughts too much control in our daily lives.
Trauma occurred when we consistently betrayed ourselves for love, were consistently treated in a way that made us feel unworthy or unacceptable resulting in a severed connection to our authentic Self. Trauma creates the fundamental belief that we must betray who we are in order to survive.
It’s very common for parent-figures to project their own unresolved traumas onto their children. When even well-meaning parent-figures react under the influence of their own unconscious wounds they, instead of offering guidance, may attempt to control, micromanage, or coerce a child to follow their will.
They may have projected this pain onto us directly, when they urged us not to cry, or indirectly, when they withdrew in response to our displays of emotion.
This emotional loneliness continues into adulthood when we repeat these patterns of emotional avoidance, shut down, and shaming.
When a parent-figure denies a child’s reality, they are unconsciously teaching the child to reject their intuition, their “gut feeling.”
Self-preservation leads to self-betrayal.
If the immune system is constantly misdirecting its inflammatory chemicals, like the cytokines, the body’s ability to respond to real illness is diminished. At the same time, inflammation occurs all over the body and may even affect the brain.
Once a core belief is formed, you engage in what’s called a confirmation of bias; information that does not conform to your beliefs is discarded or ignored in favor of information that does.
The caretaker. Typically comes from codependent dynamics. Gains a sense of identity and self-worth through neglecting their own needs. Believes that the only way to receive love is to cater to others and ignore their own needs.
The overachiever. Feels seen, heard, and valued through success and achievement. Uses external validation as a way to cope with low self-worth. Believes that the only way to receive love is through achievement.
Dear Little Caretaker Nicole, I know you have felt you needed to take care of everyone around you, to make them feel better, and to make sure everyone is happy with you. I know this makes you feel really tired and you don’t always end up being able to make people feel better. You don’t have to do this anymore. You are allowed to take care of yourself now. I promise you others will still love you. I see you, I hear you, and I love you always, Wise Adult Nicole
Dear Little Overachiever Nicole, I know you have felt you needed to do some things perfectly to make others or yourself feel happy, proud, or loved. I know this makes you feel not good enough as you are. You don’t have to do this anymore. You are allowed to stop pushing yourself so hard to do things perfectly. I promise you are more than enough exactly as you are. I see you, I hear you, and I love you always, Wise Adult Nicole
The ego, developed in childhood, is formed through the beliefs and ideas imparted on us by our parent-figures, friends, immediate community, and greater environment—what we call our personality or self-identity—that live in our subconscious. Ego beliefs don’t come out of nowhere; they are grounded in lived experiences.
I am safe, and I choose a new way to experience myself as separate from my ego.
When we are engaged in trauma bonding, we are not reacting from our rational mind; we are pulled in by the subconscious wounds of our past, living in autopilot patterns that are rooted in the familiar.
