Here the Whole Time

by Vitor Martins

I walk into my room and slam the door gently enough so as not to wake my mom but loud enough to sound dramatic.

This is exactly my level of pettiness

I like traditions, especially ones that involve cake.

I pace back and forth, trying to casually make it clear that I’m available. Totally not doing anything. Like 200 per cent free as a bird.

TO JA NA PRAKTYKACH JKJKSHUS

Aquaman, because he’s the closest a superhero can get to being a mermaid.

‘Dude, Crocs are basically slippers that you can wear outdoors. Why not wear them?’

Nobody has ever wanted to meet me of their own free will. I’m usually just a consequence in people’s lives. Never a choice.

I’m afraid I’ll seem too needy, or too clingy, or too dramatic. Just to be sure, I send a reply that makes me sound like all three: Felipe: Now I’m the one who already misses you.