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July 28 - August 8, 2022
There’s light in the words I feel the same way.
It’s the small, unassuming comments people make that change us.
an emotion that lasts longer than a minute and a half is no longer an automatic response, but a decision to keep igniting that thought,
Good moods always felt the same, whereas bad moods always felt different—
moods as responses to feelings triggered by events.
the triggers weren’t making me miserable, my reactions to them were.
Yes, I am feeling this, I’d think. But why? What’s it trying to tell me?
Looking back is a misery, I don’t remember what was fun and funny; I remember what I wish to forget, the wrong sad hurting things.
When we’re anxious, we’re not really living. We’re surviving.
When I sit down to work, I’m just trying to get one little thing right.
I trusted myself to live in the present, in a way that would take care of my future self.
point out at least one thing that is there, but shouldn’t be there,
I wasn’t worried about stopping the thoughts or dealing with them, just intent on noticing them.
How do we go to war with beasts yet scream over mice?
we focus on the pain we think we can avoid.
We’re so scared of pain that we inflict a different kind of pain trying to avoid it.
When we remember that time, we remember only the pain. The embarrassment, the regret, the trigger. We tend not to remember the lesson, the experience, the story.
I’ve always been absolutely terrified every single moment of my life and I’ve never let it stop me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.
viewing stress as a challenge, rather than a threat,
Just because writing was hard didn’t mean it had to be scary.
Most of the discomfort in our life stems from the inability to be present,
The more we suppress the stuff we want and do the stuff we don’t want to do, the less self-control we have later.
“If money is to enhance your happiness, it must be used to support aspects of life that themselves bring happiness to you.”
we are influenced as much by where products are placed as we are by the products themselves.
No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price.”
it’s a lot easier to abstain completely than to have a little and stop yourself.
Controlling your willpower comes down to eliminating the number of choices you make on a daily basis.
What many of us try to do is replace anxiety with the concept of calm. This doesn’t work because calm is not an aroused emotion.
women’s sense of self revolves around being able to make and maintain relationships.
social rejection is processed as physical pain.
we should aim to love ourselves all the time.
How many times have I censored myself or backed down from what I wanted to say because I didn’t feel I would get the right response?
maybe attention and acceptance are the same thing. I see you is the same as I accept you.
Sometimes you need to sit with someone for a while, show up a few times, until it starts to feel right.
We like people the more we see them. We trust people the more we get to know them.
“I hate you” is always really just code for “I’m disappointed,”
It wasn’t my job to make everyone happy, and not everyone was always as uncomfortable or upset as I thought they were.
“Anger only has negative effects in marriage if it is expressed along with criticism or contempt, or if it is defensive,”
69 percent of relationship problems are “perpetual” problems.
Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.
Our dreams are there to do a job—to do the emotional processing for us, to clean up all the emotional baggage we didn’t deal with
in creating order in my life, I created order in my body.
factors that cause us to overreact: unfairness, disrespect, loss of self-esteem, and rejection.
I was having trouble stopping the mood when I felt I was missing something important, when the inconvenience was getting in the way.
I wasn’t getting this because something else was supposed to happen.
I wanted to be present when destiny happened.
The nagging worry that nothing would actually ever work out for me.
If it feels like everything is broken, like your life isn’t going anywhere, like the threads and shards of the dream are no longer visible, remember that it’s supposed to be this way.
