I have started performing my more shocking and evocative poems at environmental protests, such as the ever-popular ‘Mother Earth is Not Your Slut’. I tend to recite it completely naked, except for a pashmina fashioned from interlaced earthworms. Some people find my performance so moving that they actually have to leave. In addition to my lyrical prowess, I am also an oppressed minority. I’m ecosexual, which means I only have sex with plants and vegetables. I’m trans-disabled, which means that I am permitted to use the more spacious public toilet facilities in spite of my functioning legs. And
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