Our Way

by T.L. Swan

A deep voice interrupts us. “Hello.” I look up to see Nathan standing over the table. His eyes glance down to our entwined hands. Oh, fuck.

This was so funny!! 😂

“You are the man I would want, Nathe,” I answer honestly. “Fate hasn’t been kind to me in this life.”

this was always going to happen. He adores you, I could see that from the day I first met him and saw you together.”

you can always tell which hotels are top notch because they take you to your room and show you how everything works.

But this is going to end badly… for you. Not him, but for you.”

A trace of a smile crosses his face. “I’ll never hurt you.” Not physically you won’t, but are you going to rip my heart out! “I know,” I lie.

it’s Nathan after all, he adores you. Nobody could love you more than he already does.” “That’s the worst part about it.” I sigh. “I know that he loves me….and even if he wanted to leave me. He wouldn’t.”

How have I come to depend on her so much? I can’t even sleep without her in bed with me. I’ve tossed and turned every night, watching the clock until the sun came up.

For the first time all week, I feel like I can breathe again.

Her face creases as if she’s overcome with emotion before she drops her head to my chest. She clings to me and I hold her up, my heart racing. She’s panting, and I frown as I hold her. What’s going on here? She’s different.

How do you verbalize so much hurt?

Maybe when you love someone as much as I love you, fear is always present. An evil, waiting in the wings to steal happiness.

I know that nobody looks after Nathan as well as I do. He needs me.

wonder if he’s called Robert. He called him as a friend for all these years, yet he can’t even check in on me now. I’m alone in a city where he knows that I know nobody.

feel like I’m living in a detached state, hovering way above and watching myself

from the sky. Living life as normal, while dealing with an insidious disease.

The bus travels along the road, and I stare up at the moon. It’s big and round and I wonder if Nathan is looking up at it, too.

No matter when I fuck, who I fuck, or how hard I fuck, it always comes to a crashing halt. I feel like shit for days. Because it wasn’t her, and I cheated again. Only I didn’t cheat because

I got a promotion at work and am settling in more. I’ve met three really nice girls, and we have started hanging out and doing things. I even got asked on a date this week by a security guard at my building. I mean,

I’m not going or anything, but it gives me hope, you know?

“Yes.” I throw my hands up. “I kissed him, all right.” “What else have you been doing?” I stare at him, and a pull toward him overwhelms me. He’s so familiar. So loved.

“Can I ask you something?” “Of course.” “What do you see in him?” I smile softly. “I know how he comes across to the outside world.” “Like a lunatic?” “I’m not perfect, either, and this time, I know it’s going to be different between us.