Our Way

by T.L. Swan

I snort in surprise. My Coke goes down the wrong pipe, and I choke in a spectacular fashion. “Are you kidding me?” I cough as I slap my chest. “You’re gay?” He laughs out loud. “Why is that so shocking to you?” This man is the epitome of masculinity. “Because…” I pause as I try to articulate myself. “You give off a very different vibe from other gay guys I’ve known.” He smiles, clearly amused, and he rests his chin on his hand as he watches me. I end up smiling too because this is just my crappy luck. “I had plans for us, Nathan,” I tease as I rearrange the napkin on my lap. “I know: lunch, tomorrow.” “No, actually, that wasn’t it.” I go back to cutting my lasagne. “It was dinner tonight to celebrate our first day together, but you probably have a Grindr date or something and won’t be able to fit me into your schedule.” “Eliza…” “Yeah?” I sigh, thoroughly distracted. He waits for my attention, and I drag my eyes up to meet his, he gives me a soft smile. “Is that your way of asking me to dinner as a friend?” “Maybe.” I smile. “I’d love to.”

He’s a cardiovascular surgeon… but not just any cardiovascular surgeon. He’s the man who prototyped and patented a new kind of bionic heart: The Viso 220. Five years ago, he had

a patient who didn’t fit the regular requirements, and Nathan knew how he could fix it. After much deliberation, he used his entire life savings and developed a heart for her. It saved her life, and it made him a medical rock star. He now has a factory in Germany that manufactures them and ships all over the world. I’m so proud of him. At the time, when he poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into making the prototype, everyone tried to talk him out of it. They thought he was insane to use his own money on developing a product that had no guarantees. But Nathan had a clear vision of what he could develop, and he did it—he’s saved thousands of lives, and in the process he made himself a very wealthy man. He’s handsome, strong, silent, deep… and I won the best friend lottery when we met ten years ago.

He rolls his eyes as he stands and walks toward me. “I’m not your personal assistant, Eliza.” I smile up at my handsome friend. His hair hangs over his forehead, and his big blue eyes hold mine. He’s too good-looking to be this intelligent. He should be a model on the cover of a magazine. I rearrange his tie, and I smile because I know I’m the only person who gets to boss him around. To the rest of the world he’s a bastard, but to me he’s a big pussy cat. “Yes, you are.” I rise onto my tippy toes and kiss his cheek. “And you know it.” He smirks and holds out his arm and I link it with mine. “Let’s go.”

We get to the other side of the street. He lets me go, and I link my arm through his. Truth be told, I like the way Nathan makes me hold his hand on the roads. He’s done it since our very first dinner date, all those years ago. “When do we go?” I ask as we walk along. “Four weeks from tomorrow.”

“Maria didn’t mention it.” “Because it’s a surprise.” He widens his eyes, as if I’m stupid. “Oh right.” I beam. “I’m going to need new vacation clothes, and oh…” I clap in excitement. “I’m going to get one of those hats I wanted. You know, the ones that match your bikini?” He smiles, clearly delighted by my excitement. “Okay.” “You’re going to need new swim shorts, too.” “I’m good.” He smirks. “Nathan…” I smile up at him. “Thank you, I really needed this vacation. You’re too good to me.” I kiss his shoulder as we walk. He leans his head down to rest on mine. “Only the best for my girl. Happy Birthday, baby.”

“I told you that you would.” “It’s so exciting, you know? Something new to learn, and they approved our vacation, so it’s all good.” “It is.” He replies distracted. I climb into bed. “Can we go shopping tomorrow for bikinis?” I could ask for anything when he’s reading and he will gladly agree, just to shut me up. “If you want.” He turns another page. I get into bed and turn my back to him. “Let’s get up early and go out for breakfast. Then it’s shopping all day.” “Hmm,” he mutters, distracted. He grabs my hipbone and pulls me back so I’m snug up against his body. This is how I fall asleep the fastest. “Did I say thank you?” “A hundred times, now go to sleep.” He taps my hip in a silent shut up now signal. I smile into the darkness. “Are you going to read all night?” “Probably.” “Night, Nathe.” He taps my behind. “Night, babe.”

“You’ve had two already.” I look at her, deadpan. “I need more.” She rolls her eyes, unimpressed, and drags me into a lingerie store. “Sit there.” She directs me to sit in a large velvet chair outside the changing rooms. Thank fuck… a chair. I slump into the seat and wait as she looks around. I take out my phone and scroll aimlessly through it. Eliza eventually picks up a few things before she walks into the changing room. “Won’t be a minute.” I exhale heavily. This is the last place I want to be on a Saturday. I stuff my phone back into my pocket, link my fingers together, and put my hands behind my head. After a few minutes, she says, “I like this one.” “Show me.” She opens the curtain. I stare at her for a moment and then frown. She’s wearing a gold, skimpy bikini. Her hips are curved and her skin has a beautiful honey tone to it. Her breasts are full and voluptuous. She holds her long, dark hair up on top of her head in a ponytail. “Is this all right?” My brow furrows as I stare at her. The blood begins to rush around my body, and my throbbing heartbeat echoes in my ears. “Erm…” I pause as I think of the right thing to say. She looks more than all right. Fucking hell!

Eliza flicks her bikini bottom and wiggles her hips. “I think I’ll get it.” My cock instantly hardens. What the actual fuck is going on here? She puts her hands up and rearranges her breasts in the bikini top, and my dick clenches in appreciation. Jesus Christ. I’ve never reacted to Eliza this way before, and I’ve seen her in every possible way. I break into a cold sweat. The room begins to spin, and I stand up in a rush. “I’ll meet you outside.”

“We’re friends. And when was the last time you had sex?” I retort. “A while ago.” Jolie sighs. I look between my two beautiful friends, and something blindingly obvious stands out. “What’s going on with us?” “What?” “Look at us,” I say. “In our thirties, successful, financially independent and happy, yet nobody out there interests us romantically. There’s no shortage of men, just none are appealing to us three.” We all stare into space as we each go over that notion in our mind. “I don’t know about you girls, but casual sex has most definitely lost its shine.” Brooke sighs. “For me, too.” Jolie nods. “I go to the gym, then work, and I hang with you guys on the weekend. I really don’t do much else. I may be the most boring person on the planet.” “Me, too,” Brooke agrees. “You know what the problem is?” I say. “We’re too comfortable.” “To be honest, I’d rather eat a cupcake than spend an hour getting ready for a date with a loser. Men just aren’t worth the fucking hassle anymore.” Jolie shrugs. “Well, let’s face it, nobody satisfies us in bed like BOB does, anyway.” We all clink our glasses together. “Amen.” I slump and lean on my hand. “I’ve had way too many dates with my vibrator. I think I’ve forgotten what real sex is even like.”

What can I wear tonight? I want to pick where we’re going away so I need to win this bet. I want to look sexy as fuck. “You know what?” Jolie says. “I’m going to the bar right now and I’m going to talk to someone.” “You are?” I frown in surprise. “Yep, fuck this. I’m going to make conversation and everything.” We all giggle, and she looks around as she searches for her unsuspecting target. “See that guy over there?” We look over to see a cute guy sitting at the bar alone. “Yeah.” “I’m going to go talk to him.” “What, now?” I frown. “Right now.” She drains her glass, and she slams it down on the table. “Wish me luck, bitches.”

“God knows.” Brooke downs her shot. “This is working, though. I’m feeling buzzed already. So, you got the job. When do you start?” “A week from Monday.” “So soon?” “I know.” “What are you going to do about Dr. Flirty Boss?” “I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe I misheard him?” Jolie falls into the seat beside us. “Hey.” She laughs. “What are you doing?” She giggles and gestures to the guy she was talking to. He’s currently carrying a tray of eight shots. He sits down at the table with us. “Girls, this is Santiago.” She introduces him. “Hi.” We smile. He’s hot! “Hello,” he says with a foreign accent. “Hello, beautiful ladies.” Jolie’s eyes dance with delight as she tips her head back and downs another shot. “We’ve been watching some movies on his phone, and I thought it was only fair I shared those with my friends.” Brooke and I frown at each other. Huh? “Ah, ladies.” Santiago smiles. “Let me introduce myself.” He clicks something on his phone. “Drink!” Jolie orders. “You’re going to need it.” We all take our next shot, and I am feeling very inebriated here. Santiago holds his phone up, and we all look at it. It takes a moment for my eyes to focus, and then I slap my hand over my mouth. It’s him! Santiago is having sex with a woman. Brooke’s horrified eyes stare at the screen, and I burst out laughing at her expression. He’s really giving it to this girl, while her legs are up over his shoulders. He pulls out and turns to face the camera. He’s hung like a fucking horse. I burst ou...

Eliza laughs. I look up and catch sight of her and my heart skips a beat. She’s wearing a tight black dress. It’s off the shoulders and sits just above the knee. Her long, dark hair is down, and her makeup is smokey. She smiles and comes around to kiss me on the cheek, placing her hand on my thigh. “Hi, Nathe.” She’s tipsy; I can tell by her husky voice. “Hi.” I look her up and down. “You look gorgeous.” I feel a twinge in my cock. No! Not again. She smiles seductively. “Thanks.”

Will you girls fuck off? I want to watch that douchebag to make sure he doesn’t touch Eliza. My eyes go back to them on the dancefloor, and Samuel smiles down at Eliza like he’s about to eat her. I begin to see red. Don’t touch her, fucker, or you will die.

I glance at Drew, and he, knowing exactly what I’m thinking, chuckles. Samuel’s hands go to Eliza’s ass, and I step forward. Drew grabs my arm. “Easy,” he whispers. Samuel pulls Eliza toward him, and before I know what I’m doing, I’m beside them. “Time to go, Eliza,” I bark. “What?” She frowns as she stumbles back in surprise. “You’ve had too much to drink. I’m taking you home.”

She watches on as I put makeup remover onto a cotton pad, and she closes her eyes. She knows the routine; we’ve done this many times before. She can’t sleep until her makeup is taken off. She tosses and turns all night, and it’s easier to do it now rather than in an hour. I wipe the makeup off one eye, and then the other. Her dark lashes flutter as I wipe each of them, and I find myself smiling down as I watch her. Her cheekbones are high, and her big sultry lips are parted slightly. My heart constricts in my chest. “Nathe.” Her hands are on my thighs. “Yeah, baby,” I whisper. “I love you.” I smile softly. She loves me every time she’s drunk. “I know.” “Do you love me?” I lean down and kiss her forehead. “You know I do.” She rests her sleepy head on my chest. “Can we go to bed now?” she whispers. “I’m very tired.” “Nearly finished.” I wipe the rest of her makeup off and rinse it clean, and then I lead her into the bedroom. I turn down the blankets, and she flops back onto her back. I lift her legs so that she’s lying comfortably, and soon her lashes flutter as she fights sleep. My eyes roam down her body and a strange feeling washes over me. I’ve seen Eliza with no clothes on many times before but tonight she feels so… naked. Raw. My eyes roam down over her full breasts, then her stomach, her muscular thighs, before resting on her black G-string. I stare at her for a moment, and my imagination takes me to a new place. What would it be like to be inside her? I get a vision ...

“Only what?” “It got more heated.” “How so?” “He went down on me.” “Did you ejaculate?” I nod. “Yes.” “How were you after that?”

“Confused.” I frown. “I never saw myself getting a blowjob from a guy. It just…” I shake my head as the emotions from back then flood through me. “It was never on my radar.” “But…?” “But I liked it.” “Why?” “Because it felt forbidden. Like I was being naughty and had this dark, little secret that nobody would ever know of.” “So, it happened again?” “Every day for a week.” “What happened after that?” “Feelings started to develop between us. He…” I screw up my face as I remember that time. “He got me, and I got him. We never had labels between us. It wasn’t like that because it felt natural, you know?” Elliot steeples his hands in front of him. “What happened from there?” “He asked me if I would be his first, and that our time together was over soon and we would never see each other again, but we would always have this. Our secret. I fucked him.” “So, you top?” “Always.” I clench my jaw, angered that I had to say that out loud to a complete stranger…. fuck this, I’m never coming back here again. This is mortifying. “And that was it?” “No, we fell in love. It was very special between us.” He smiles softly.

“We began a long-distance relationship where we would spend weekends and every holiday together.” He sits back and crosses his legs with his notepad and pen in his hand. “Tell me about that period of your life.” “It was fucked.” I scratch the back of my hair, surprised by the sudden surge of anger that I feel. “Why is that?” “I was in a relationship so I didn’t screw around. I didn’t go out much because I hated how women would hit on me all night and I couldn’t give them an explanation as to why I wasn’t into them.” “Were you attracted to the girls who hit on you?” “No.” “Were you attracted to other men during this time?” I shake my head. “I only wanted Robert. Nobody else ever caught my eye.” The room falls silent. “The deal was that when Robert finished college, he was going to transfer to wherever I was working at the time. His job was transf...

“Because I gave up the best part of my life to be loyal to him. I thought we had a future, but in the end, it was all for nothing. I was done.” “You ended it?” “Yes.” “Nathan.” Elliot’s eyes hold mine. “Are you still in love with Robert?” “No.” I shrug. “I was for a long time but not anymore. We’re friends. He’s openly gay and in a happy relationship.” “Tell me about your relationships since then.” I squirm in my seat, uncomfortable with where this is going. “I haven’t had one.” Elliot’s eyes narrow. “Not one?” “I’ve had sex, obviously, but I haven’t met anybody I would want long term.” “So, you have one night stands?” “What does this have to do with the reason I’m here?” I snap in exasperation. “I don’t see why this is relevant. Next question.” “No.” Elliot’s eyes hold mine. “I’ll repeat: do you have one night stands?” I glare at him. “I ha...

“I see.” He writes some points on his paper. I exhale heavily as I wait for his next step over the line. He leans back in his chair and crosses his legs. “Tell me about your best friend.” He glances down to his notes to remind himself of her name. “Eliza.” “What do you want to know?” “When did you meet?” “We started work at the same hospital on the same day. We met in the cafeteria. Something clicked, and we became friends.” He scribbles some notes and looks up at me. “This is around the time you broke up with Robert, yes?” I nod. “That’s right. Like two months later or something.” “Tell me about her.” I raise my eyebrows. Where do I start? “She is goofy, clumsy, and she can’t cross the street without nearly getting herself run over. She loses her phone and keys all the time.” I think for a moment. “She has the most beautiful dimples when she smiles; her whole face lights up.” I pause for a moment as I picture her. “She’s a great cook. The best, actually.” I smile wistfully. “I have leftovers for lunch every day.” I twist my fingers in my lap as I try to think of something else to say. “She writes in a diary eve...

“Nathan,” Elliot says quietly. “Why is your attraction to her so abhorrent to you?” My eyes meet his. “Because she is everything to me. I can’t lose her.” My heart constricts in my chest. “Just the thought of not having her by my side is…” “Why do you think you would lose her?” “We’re not… it’s never been like that between us.” I frown. “She doesn’t think of me like that and…” “And what?’ “I’m a lot to handle… sexually.” “How so?” “I like it rough. My appetite is insatiable. And I’m…” My voice trails off. “You’re what?” “Large.” He frowns as he listens intently. “She’s very…” I frown as I search for the right word. “Fragile.” “You don’t think the two of you would be sexually compatible?” “No, and if we ever crossed that line and it didn’t work out, we could never go back to where we are.” “You’re happy where you are now...

“Why not?” My eyes search his. “Because I’m of the opinion that you may be in love with Eliza.” “What?” I snap. “That’s ridiculous.” “Is it?” I stare at him as my pulse begins to sound in my ears. “Could it be possible, Nathan, that your body is just catching up with your heart?” “No.” The room begins to spin. “That maybe it’s taken this long for you to allow yourself to feel again?” “You’re wrong,” I snap, angered that this fucker has wasted my time. “I’m just horny.” “So, why not go and sleep with someone else tonight? If it’s that easily fixed, go and take what you want.” Fury begins to bubble deep inside of me. “You don’t know me.” I sneer. “How long has it been since you’ve had sex with someone, Nathan?” He hits a nerve, and I swallow the lump in my throat. “A few months.” “Why do you think that is?” I hate this fucking guy. Our eyes are locked,...

I drop my head, rattl...

I giggle. “Now, what’s this about your new job?” he asks. “I don’t know.” I take a sip. “Hmm.” I eye the bubbles in my glass. “You got my favorite. I guess I’m just nervous.” “Why?” “What if I can’t do it?” “Eliza.” He gives me a beautiful, big smile. “You can do anything you set your mind to.” “Aww.” I lean up and kiss his cheek, and I run my fingers through his stubble. “You’re the best cheerleader.” “Well, that’s emasculating.” He raises a brow. “You know what I mean.” I run my hands down over my body. “Do you like this dress?” His eyes roam up and down my body. “I love this dress.”

“You did?” I shrug. “It was kind of hot.” I offer as an explanation. “He could have been a serial killer. Guys don’t just show women videos of themselves having sex with other people. That’s just fucking weird. Like stalker weird.” I laugh. “I know, right?” I shovel more cheese and biscuits into my mouth. “I’ve never even filmed myself having sex. I wouldn’t even want to watch that back, let alone show other people.” “What?” Nathan frowns. “You’ve never filmed yourself having sex?” “No.” I scowl. “Have you?” “Everyone’s done that.” “Not me.” “Why not?” He seems shocked. “I don’t know?” I laugh. “It’s never come up. Nobody I’ve slept with has ever suggested it.” He stares at me in disbelief. “Eliza, just how vanilla is your sex life?” I widen my eyes. “Well, very vanilla if this is anything to go by.” He sips his champagne as if fascinated. “And you like vanilla sex?” “Not really.” I shrug. “I’ve never thought about it before. I guess I’m waiting for a big, bad man to teach me bad things.” His eyes hold mine. I smile, slightly embarrassed by my lack of experience. “Anyway, I forget what sex is even like.”

“How long since you have had it?” “Two years.” “You haven’t had sex for two years?” he gasps. “Nope.” “Jesus, Eliza.” he whispers. “Why not?” “I guess I’m waiting for Mr. Right this time.” He stares at me for a moment before he speaks. “So, what you’re saying is that you’re waiting for a Mr. Right to teach you how to be bad?” “Precisely.” I smile. “Do you know anyone?” I tease. He runs the backs of his fingers down my cheek as if distracted. “Maybe.” I smile up at my beautiful friend. He looks so handsome in his dinner suit. I rearrange his bow tie and run my fingers through his messed-up hair. “Are you ready to go, Mr. Mercer?” His tongue darts out and slides across his bottom lip, and I get the feeling he has something else on his mind. “If we must.”

His eyes go back to Nathan, and they stare at each other for a moment. Something is exchanged between them, although I’m not sure what it is. Nathan’s eyes come back to me. Fuck. “We need to get back to our table. Let’s go, baby.” I smile as I pull Nathan by the arm. “Nice to see you, Dr. Morgan,” I say in a rush. Go away, now. “Henry,” he corrects me. “And do come quickly. The sooner you are under me, the better.” Nathan stares at him. “Working under me, I mean.” He chuckles. “That sounded wrong, didn’t it?” “Not to mention deluded,” Nathan replies dryly. “Goodbye.” I fake a giggle. “Lovely to see you again.” I drag Nathan back to the table. Oh, crap. Nathan sits down with a thud. He tips his head back and takes a huge gulp of his scotch. I smile around my champagne glass. Oh, great. Nathan’s eyes meet mine. “I thought you said your boss was old.” “He is old.” I lie as I try to act casual. He raises an eyebrow. “Why did you tell him I was your boyfriend?” I put my hand on his thigh under the table. “I tell a lot of people you’re my boyfriend,” I whisper.

“You do?”

“I do.” I smile up at him. “Why, am I ruining your reputation?” His eyes soften. “You are, actually.” He picks up my hand from his thigh and takes it in his. His eyes go over to the bar to watch Henry. “Something feels off about him.” “He seems okay. He’s a bit full of himself but that doesn’t bother me.” “So, if I’m your boyfriend now does that mean I get to...

He stares down at me, and something feels different tonight. I don’t know what it is. It’s as if I’m the only other person in the room. His attention is two hundred percent on me. He’s always attentive, but I’m really feeling it tonight. Perhaps it’s the fact that I told Henry that he’s my boyfriend and I know that he’s playing the part. Yes, that must be it. I look up at him and run my fingers through his stubble. “I had a great night. Thanks for my ten thousand dollar ticket.” He chuckles and then spins me. We sway to the music once more. He leans and gently kisses my lips with a little suction and a whole lot of nice. I frown as my breath catches. “Your boss is watching,” he whispers. “Oh.” My eyes dart over to see Henry standing at the side of the dancefloor. “Right.” Nathan’s lips drift to my temple and he kisses me again. I feel myself melting into him. He’s strong, virile, and he’s holding me so close. I must be the envy of every woman in the room. God, I love this man, and here he is playing the part of my boyfriend to protect my lie. We dance and we

dance, and Nathan makes me miss having someone for real.

If only I could have the closeness that I have with Nathan with a boyfriend—someone who could love me in every way. Someone who could be really mine. “You ready to go? The car is here,” he whispers. “I am.” I return to the table and to the people we were sitting with. “Lovely to meet you all.” “You, too.” Nathan goes around and shakes their hands. “Goodbye. Nice to meet you.” He takes my hand and we walk out the front to get into the back of the black Audi waiting for us. He holds my hand on his lap, and I smile out of the window at the glamorous ball as it disappears into the distance. “That was a great night. I enjoyed myself.” “Me, too.” He squeezes my hand in his lap. “Thanks for coming with me.” I rest my head on his shoulder. I feel so safe, and I’m feeling especially close to him tonight. I don’t know why, he just seems different. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe all this talk about not dating with the girls has me missing having someone special in my life and I appreciate our friendship even more. “Are you tired, baby?” he whispers softly. “Hmm.” I smile sleepily. He kisses my forehead, puts his arm around me and pulls me close. I snuggle into his chest. It’s warm and feels so good beneath my head. His aftershave wafts around me. Being inside Nathan Mercer’s arms is my favorite place to be.

Twenty minutes later, we pull up outside my apartment. Nathan leads me out by the hand, and we walk inside and into the elevator. “Did anyone show you footage of themselves having sex tonight?” he asks. I giggle. “Disappointingly, no.” He smiles down at me. “What?” “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” “Tell me again.” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “You really did look beautiful tonight.” I smile up at him. “Do we have chocolate?” He smirks. “So, I tell you that you look beautiful, and you ask me if we have chocolate?” “And?” I smile. “Your point is?” “My point is that I’m being judged on my shopping abilities.” I giggle and turn my back to him. His big arms wrap around me from behind. “That better mean there’s chocolate in the fridge, Mercer,” I mutter as I put my head against his chest. He chuckles and rests his chin on the top of my head. The elevator doors open and we make our way down the corridor. Nathan opens the door to my apartment and we walk in. I go straight to the kitchen, flick the kettle on, while he goes to the fridge to grab something, which he quickly puts behind his back. “What have you got there?” I ask.

“Ah,” he teases. “What do I get for it?” “If it’s chocolate… anything you want.” “You really should play harder to get.” He raises an eyebrow and produces a box of my favorite chocolates. I clap my hands together. “Where did these come from?” “I bought them today when I got the champagne.” He opens the box and pops one into his mouth. “You want?” He holds one up for me. I open my mouth and he puts it in. “Hmm.” I close my eyes at the rich creamy taste. “Delicious.” His eyes darken as he watches me suck on it. He takes his jacket off, undoes his bowtie and top few buttons. I make us a cup of tea and take another chocolate. I watch him take off his shoes and then undo his belt and slowly slide it off. My breath catches. Why am I noticing how masculine he suddenly is? “So, what did ...

He chuckles and sits me up onto the counter in front of him. We both sip our tea, our eyes locked on each other. Something is different but I can’t put my finger on it. “Two years.” He smirks. “Are you still think...

He steps forward, in between my legs, and his hands rest on my upper thighs. “A long time, too.” I frown, surprised. “Why?” His eyes hold mine. “I guess I’m waiting for Mrs. Right.” I smile up at him. “Are you going to teach her bad things?” I tease. “Fuck.” He pauses, his eyes drop to my lips. “I want to.” My face falls. Our eyes are locked, and you could cut the tension between us with a knife. Wait, what? I was just teasing. He pulls me closer on the counter toward him in a decidedly sexual manner. I sip my tea, unsure what’s going on right now. “Don’t you mean… Mr. Right?” I whisper. “Umm…yeah.” He takes my tea off me and puts it down on the counter. “Let’s get you out of that dress,” he whispers. He lifts me off the counter and leads me into the bedroom. I feel close to him tonight; so close that it almost feels like… He positions me before the full-length mirror in my bedroom. He stands behind me and then slowly slides the zipper down. I watch him ...

This is nothing new. Nathan has seen me undress a million times before. But this feels… sexual. I stand before him in a white strapless bra and a G-string, with thigh-high nude stockings. I watch him in the mirror as his eyes roam up and down my body, drinking me in. I want to blurt out What the hell are you doing? but I don’t want to ruin the moment. Whatever this moment is. He stands closer and puts his hand on my stomach. We stare at each other in the mirror, and there’s an honesty between us. Maybe it’s intimacy or maybe it’s just the champagne. At this point, anything is a possibility because none of this is making sense. With his eyes locked on mine, he kisses my cheek with an open mouth. My heart skips a beat. He runs his fingers up my arms, and goosebumps scatter. “Nathan,” I whisper. “Ssh,” he whispers, as if not wanting words to get in the way. He lets...

I turn toward him, and he picks up my hand and puts it onto his bare chest. It’s hot and hard under my touch. He rests his lips on my temple, and I close my eyes. God, this is wrong. Unable to stop myself, I slowly slide my hand over his torso, over the ripples, down lower to the small trail of dark hair that di...

Eliza We stare at each other. My heart is pumping so hard that I can feel my pulse throughout my body. I dust the backs of my fingers through the hair on his lower stomach, and his eyes flicker shut as if he likes it. I open my mouth to say something. “Don’t,” he cuts me off. Whatever’s happening right now, he doesn’t want to talk about it. He trails his finger down my clavicle, between my breasts, and then lower to my stomach. My entire body begins to thrum, as if waking from a two-year long hibernation. He turns me away from him in a quick movement, and our gaze goes back to our reflection in the mirror. Him, in his white shirt and black dinner suit pants, and me in my white lacy underwear. His hand goes to my stomach, and he pulls me closer.

His open lips dust my neck, and I watch him and the ecstasy on his face. This is too much. I tip my head back to rest on his shoulder. My eyes close in pleasure. Oh hell, what’s happening right now? With his every kiss on my neck, our breathing becomes heavier, the feeling between us stronger. A river of deep emotion is flowing between us, and it feels sacred and strong. This doesn’t feel sexual. It feels honest. Like we care about each other so much that the worship we have for one another is running over into the physical. It’s magical.

My entire body is aroused as my hands trail up and down her body. The taste of her neck on my tongue is inciting bad thoughts, and I want more. So much fucking more. My cock thumps as it becomes painfully hard. I ease my hips back from hers. She can’t feel how aroused I am. She can’t know how badly I need to fuck her. “Nathan,” she whispers, breaking the spell. My eyes snap up to hers in the mirror. What the hell am I doing? I step back. “You sh...

Her face falls—is that disappointment? “Yes.” She gives her head a subtle shake. “Okay.” She practically runs to the bathroom, and I begin to pace. What the fuck was I doing? She can’t know what’s going on with me. She can never know how I feel. Do you want to lose her, you fucking idiot? I sit on the edge of the bed and put my head into my hands. Shit, that was close. I sit back to rearrange my cock in my pants. It’s painful and restricted. I need to come or I’m going to… Hell, I can’t even think what I’m going to do. I get a vision of Eliza beneath me, naked, and my entire body tingles. Fuck. I unzip my pants with urgency, and I take my cock into my hand. I get a vision of Eliza on her knees in front of me and I begin to pull myself. Fuck, yeah. Take it all… take it fucking all. The grip on m...

I zip my pants up. The bathroom door opens, and I brush past her before she has time to notice the tent in my trousers. God damn it, woman… I want to fuck your mouth. I lock the door, turn the water on, and tear my clothes off, desperate for Eliza. Desperate to ejaculate. I soap up my hand, get under the water, and I begin to really fuck myself. I need this. I need it hard. I want it to hurt. My legs go weak from underneath me, and I put my hand up on the tiles to hold myself steady. I close my eyes and taste Eliza’s skin in my mouth. I can almost feel her breath on my chest, and I come hard. My head tips back and I give a low, guttural moan. My heart is racing, gasping for air, and my body shudders as it comes down from the high. I keep stroking to completely empty my body. Thinking of her when I come is an out of this world experience. I can’t imagine what the real thing would feel like. Maybe I wouldn’t even survive it. I stand under the shower, the water running down over my face, and the more ...

Eventually, when I can’t put it off any longer, I turn off the shower and dry myself. Normally, I would walk out there in a towel and dress in front of her but I can’t now. It feels weird. Every boundary between us has changed, and I have no sphere or reference as to what’s right and wrong anymore. What just happened was wrong… but fuck, it felt so right. I wrap the towel around my waist and inhale deeply as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Cut it out, I warn myself. She’s going to leave if you keep losing your head. I close my eyes and shake out my arms as if I’m preparing to go into a fight, because that’s how it feels, like I’m constantly fighting myself over her—an internal battle between what I should want and what I do want. What I know and what I want to learn. Everything about this situation is screaming at me to drop it, and every day I decide to. Yet, every day I fail the task. I walk out into the darkened bedroom. Eliza is lying on her side with her back to me. I grab my boxer shorts from the drawer and slip them on, and then I get a glass of water, get...

I roll toward her and take her into my arms. I press my lips into the crook of her neck. “Do you love me, Nathe?” she whispers. She asks me this all the time. It’s an affectionate joke between us. I screw up my face and pause as my chest constricts. “You know I do.” I kiss the back of her head. “Go to sleep.” “Goodnight, Nathe.” I remember how perfect that ten...

He rolls his eyes as he drains his glass. “I’m taking a shower.” He saunters down the hall. My phone dances across the counter. It’s Samuel. I peer down the hall after Nathan. Shit, hurry up and get in the shower. I don’t want you to hear me. “Hello,” I answer. “Eliza, hi. It’s Samuel.” I smile goofily. “Hi.” My voice comes out like a high pitch screech, and I push my thumb into my eye socket. I clear my throat, determined to sound better. I can see down the hall and into my bedroom and I watch as Nathan loosens his tie. I’ll keep an eye on him so I know if he can hear me. “You called me. I’m impressed,” he purrs. “I said I would.” Nathan slides his jacket over his shoulders and begins to unbutton his shirt, I watch on. “How was your day?” Samuel asks. Nathan takes his shirt off, and I watch as every muscle in his back tenses. “It… was good,” I stammer, distracted. My eyes are locked on my best friend. “How was yours?” “It was great after seeing you,” Samuel says. Nathan drops his pants and carefully hangs them on a hanger. I can see every muscle in his thick thighs. “Same.” I frown. Jeez. “Where do you want to go on our first date?”

Nathan drops his black boxer briefs and then turns. I get a full frontal view. He’s hung and rippled with muscles. His pubic hair is short and well-kept. Fucking hell, my stomach clenches. He walks back up the hall to the bathroom. When he glances up, our eyes lock. The air leaves my lungs, but he doesn’t flinch. It’s as if he wants me to look. He wants me to see why he thinks my vibrator is pathetic… Holy mother of God. What kind of a dick is that?

I walk into the bedroom to see Nathan reading in bed. His hair is messy like he’s just been fucked. His arm is above his head, exposing his sculptured biceps. My eyes drop down lower, and I can count the ripples on his stomach. My own stomach flips. He looks like a Greek God or something. Damn it, does he have to be so fucking sexy? “Will you wear some clothes around here?” I huff as I turn my side of the blankets back. “What?” He frowns, but his eyes don’t leave the page. “You’re half naked all the time.” I get into bed, annoyed. It’s like he’s purposely baiting me. I mean, I am only human; any red-blooded woman would be salivating if she was constantly exposed to this torture. I get a vision of him naked from earlier and his beautiful body. For fuck’s sake. I roll over so that my back is to him with a huff. “What’s up your ass?” he mutters. “Nothing.” “My nudity is annoying you?” “Yes.” I splutter. “It is, actually.” “Why?” “Well, how would you like it if I waved my body around in front of you all the time?” “You do.” “I do not.” “You’re wearing panties and a camisole right now. I see your body wherever I look, so don’t play Mother Theresa

here, Eliza. ” I roll my eyes, I’m still lying with my back to him.