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Halter It is said that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake is beautiful and hypnotizing in its own unique silhouette. They symbolize purity. But every snowflake that’s lucky enough to settle on the ground is destined to be blemished by dirt. Snowflakes teach us the lesson that if you live long enough, you will eventually get soiled. But even your stains won’t tarnish your beauty.
My Whole Life Has Been Pledged to This Meeting with You Pushkin. I only knew one person who went gaga over the Russian poet, and, like the famous Alexander, he was currently six feet under. My friends began to paddle back to shore. I couldn’t move. It felt like my balls were ten tons heavy. I didn’t believe in love at first sight. Lust, maybe, but even that wasn’t the word I was looking for. No. This girl fucking intrigued me.
Because I found you in the dirt that’s called life, and you stood out. Like an opportunity I cannot miss.
She really did remind me of the snow. Just like it, she was going to melt on my tongue.
Always part ways with people you love like you’ll never see them again.
“You can’t be afraid of love, my dear. It’s like being afraid of death. It is inevitable.”
My Whole Life Has Been Pledged to This Meeting with You
I didn’t want him. I needed him to remind me how to breathe.
Falling in love is when you lose yourself slowly, piece by piece. Infatuation is when you lose yourself all at once. Love is like ivy. It wraps around you, chokes every part of you quietly. It is not patient, or kind, or gentle. It is needy, cunning, and suffocating.
“Snow White waited for the prince. You’ll be the one saving yourself in this story.” I blinked at him, thinking about what my dad used to say, his accent thick, almost as strong as his words. “You don’t need a prince, princess. You need a sword.”
“I want your ass. Happy? Want it with the scars. With the fucked-up, tragic story. With every fiber of my body. I want to fuck you, and own you, and bruise you, and save you. But I can’t do any of those things. Why? Because you’d hate me afterwards, and that’s a fact, not a speculation. Mark my words. For reasons I can’t tell you right now, fucking you will break you and ruin me. And I may be a bastard, but I’m not the fucking villain.”
“Sometimes the sun is a liar. Sometimes it’s out, even though it is cold.”
My father had once said that affection shouldn’t be asked for. It is not a reward, but a necessity.
Maybe love wasn’t about feeling happy and whole. Maybe love was about breaking so the person you cared for would feel a little more whole.
But you didn’t just walk into my life, Roman. You stormed into it. You left me no choice but to heal. Now I want everything. I want the job and the friends and my sexuality back. If you don’t fuck me, someone else will, Bane,”
“Leave me alone, then,” I yelled in his face. “Just let me leave.” “Never,” he snarled, biting my neck. Hard. “And ever.” He dragged his nose down to my shoulder, sucking a sensitive spot on the curve of my collarbone. “And fucking ever.”
“I love you, Roman ‘Bane’ Protsenko. Not because you take away my loneliness, but because you give me strength.”
“Look, I didn’t know it’d be this way. I didn’t know being this way was even a fucking possibility. This feeling shit? I’m new to it, Jesse. But I swear, at no point, before or after I knew you, did I ever mean you any harm. I love you, Jesse. I fell in love with your soul before I even knew who you were. With that Pushkin tattoo, and that defiant stare, and the way you carried yourself like a disobedient goddess who didn’t belong here with all the snotty mortals of the beach. Even as I stand here now, I continue falling, because you’re a part of the only fucking person who resembled a father
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“No, Snowflake. Where have you been before? When I was lost. When I was a monster. When nothing made sense. Where have you been all my life?”
“I was right here. Waiting for you.” I pressed my palm against his heart, smiling. My Whole Life Has Been Pledged to This Meeting with You
