Dungeon Crawler Carl (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #1)

by Matt Dinniman

New achievement! Podophilia! You’ve used your bare feet to crush and kill an opponent! Hey! That’s my fetish! Seriously. Keep doing it, and you’ll be rewarded. This will help.

New achievement! Boom! You’ve caused a wall-shaking explosion within the dungeon! The last time the walls shook like this was when your mom came over for a visit.

Scatterer Brood Guardian. Level 4. Cockroaches that have been baptized in rage and Monster Energy drinks.

Reward: These past twenty seconds, when your conscience started to ease? That was your reward. It was also a lie. That baby is dead, and it’s dead because of you. You’re totally going to hell.

Question: What’s the only thing standing between an innocent child and a happy, fulfilling life? Answer: You. The answer is you.

You have killed more than five opponents during boss battles using your bare feet. You are making daddy very, very happy.