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“Nor am I wearing a cloak that makes me look like I won a participation trophy at the special needs comic con, Carl. I’m
Goblin Copper Chopper with attached sidecar. Human-sized. Contraption. Take a junkyard bicycle, add an unreliable steam engine, remove all the bolts holding it together, replace them with chewing gum, and you get the idea. The preferred assault transport of Goblin Bomb Bards, what this contraption lacks in reliability and safety it makes up for in absolutely nothing.
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Reward: You’ve received a Bronze Asshole’s Box.
New achievement! This Little Piggy Went to Market!
Oh yeah, baby. You have killed more than five opponents during boss battles using your bare feet. You are making daddy very, very happy.
New achievement! You found stairs! You have found a stairwell down to the next floor. They say the cream rises to the top. So what does that say about you? Reward: This barely qualifies as an achievement. Your reward is that you’re alive to read this.
