Dungeon Crawler Carl (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #1)

by Matt Dinniman

“How is it you’re James Bond when it comes to strangers, but Miss Beatrice could date three different guys at once, and you had no idea?”

Does it count as cheating when it’s with another woman?

“But you were always watching those videos on your iPad with the two women rolling around and cleaning each other. Would it have been cheating if Miss Beatrice let you watch?”

If this were a prison, you would now be my bitch. Wait… Reward: Bitches don’t get rewards.

Donut: I AM YELLING CARL.

“If it’s about to bite my face off, it’s getting a six,” said Donut.

crying that his pimple-infested sac is a third the size it once was.

Brandon designed it.

Mana Toast. This is toast. It refills your mana. That’s it. Nothing more. Fuck you.