The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

by Kelly McGonigal

False hope syndrome is especially sneaky because it masquerades as self-control. In fact, it does such a good job fooling us, I’d wager that while you were reading this very section, it took you a moment to realize that I was describing another willpower trap, not the silver lining of feeling bad. And that’s exactly why the promise of change is worth looking at. There is a fine line between the motivation we need to make a change, and the kind of unrealistic optimism that can sabotage our goals. We need to believe that change is possible; without hope, we’d resign ourselves to the way things are. But we must avoid the common trap of using the promise of change to fix our feelings, not to fix our behaviors. Otherwise, we can turn what looks like willpower into just another version of a rat pressing a lever, hoping this is the time we get the reward.

If we can commit to the change we envision, this false hope could be utilized to spur hope and change, however the person will need all the tools to help themselves stay the course of their commitment. This is very difficuilt, this is opposite what the human brain wants for itself - instant gratification and self serving desires in the moment.