The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

by Kelly McGonigal

Self-control is one of mankind’s most fabulous upgrades, but it’s not our only distinction. We also possess self-awareness:

but meditation increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex, in

When you are chronically stressed, your body continues to divert energy from long-term needs such as digestion, reproduction, healing injuries, and fighting off illnesses to respond to the constant stream of apparent emergencies.

Other studies have found that committing to any small, consistent act of self-control—improving your posture, squeezing a handgrip every day to exhaustion, cutting back on sweets, and keeping track of your spending—can increase overall willpower.

Humans have a natural tendency to focus on immediate gains, and changing course to prevent future disaster takes enormous self-discipline from all members of a society.

When we think about our willpower challenges in moral terms, we get lost in self-judgments and lose sight of how those challenges will help us get what we want.

We look into the future and fail to see the challenges of today. This convinces us that we will have more time and energy to do in the future what we don’t want to do today.

Using a daily rule also helps you see through the illusion that what you do tomorrow will be totally different from what you do today.

When we turn willpower challenges into measures of moral worth, being good gives us permission to be bad. For better self-control, forget virtue, and focus on goals and values.

Evolution doesn’t give a damn about happiness itself, but will use the promise of happiness to keep us struggling to stay alive.

Economists call this delay discounting—the longer you have to wait for a reward, the less it is worth to you.

One reason we’re so susceptible to immediate gratification is that our brain’s reward system did not evolve to respond to future rewards.

When you know your own triggers, putting them out of sight can keep them from tempting your mind.

goal contagion.

The best way to strengthen your immune response to other people’s goals is to spend a few minutes at the beginning of your day thinking about your own goals, and how you could be tempted to ignore them.

that anytime we see someone behaving badly, our own self-control deteriorates

Social epidemics—like the spread of obesity or smoking—follow a pattern of complex contagion

The social epidemics spread through networks of mutual respect and liking,

social proof. When the rest of our tribe does something, we tend to think it’s a smart thing to do.

there is a secret for greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention. It’s training the mind to recognize when you’re making a choice, rather than running on autopilot.